An Emo Moment

I am having an emo moment.

I have been working very hard to track every single piece of food or drop of liquid that goes in my mouth. I have been working very hard at exercising.

Last night, I found some pictures of me that were taken in 2004. I weighed around 290 pounds. When I looked at them, I realized I don't look much different than I do now. Yes, I'm a little smaller, but I still look disgustingly fat. I realized that even if I lose another fifty pounds, I'm still going to look gross. In my mind, I looked okay at 290, but it appears those memories were rose-colored, as most memories are.

It made me sigh. It made me want to cry. I need to work my ass off for another fifty pounds, only to continue to be so heavy it's comical? Faaaaabulous.

To make myself feel better, I started looking for pictures of me at weights slightly under that. I dug up some pictures of me at 265 (summer 2008). Those pictures are better. I'm still heavy through the hips/thighs, but I've lost a lot of fat off my arms and belly. You can also see the bone structure in my face again. I don't have the huge, "moon face". So, right now, 265 is my primary goal - not the ultimate goal, the primary goal. I wasn't HUGE at 265, just fat.

I have 75 pounds to go, and I'm scared. It just feels so far away. It will feel GREAT to get back to 314 (when I met Brent), and then it will feel AWESOME when I get under 300 and finally have a "2" in front of my weight,  but it's sad to know I won't be HAPPY until I'm 265.

Given my progress, that will be around Halloween. It will be nice to look so much better before we visit Brent's family at Thanksgiving, but urrrrggghhhh... I just really need some positivity right now. I'm not going to give up; I just feel like this particular hill is going to take forever. If I can just get to 265, I will be so happy. Anything after that is gravy. I just want this so badly.

It just occurred to me that if I get to 265 around Halloween, I could be 260 by Thanksgiving. That will mean I'll have lost 96 pounds since I last saw his family at Christmas. How impressive would that be, to be almost 100 pounds lighter? :)

Hunger Games, an Ex, and a Walk

I finally got to test my new shoes tonight, but first, I feel a need to post about my day.

I saw The Hunger Games this afternoon. I can't believe it took me this long to see it! I read the trilogy when the movie was released, but then I just kept putting it off and forgetting.

Last night, Brent and I saw Cabin in the Woods (fabulous), and I saw the posters for The Hunger Games. I made note of the show times and decided to go this afternoon.

I loved it! It was mostly true to the book, and the little changes they made were necessary to keep it from being too confusing. I thought it was cast quite well. Effie was awesome. :)

When I got home, I posted a status update on Facebook about how much I enjoyed the movie but didn't enjoy the woman in front of me, who thought it necessary to spoil and comment on every. little. thing. Luckily, I'd read the books, but the people around us might not have. I shushed her a couple of times before finally moving to another seat a couple of rows away. No biggie. I was on the end and moved to another end seat, so nobody was disturbed.

Anyway, my ex-boyfriend, who I hadn't talked to since last summer, decided to pop up and say I should have gotten a manager, blah blah blah. I told him it wasn't worth it since I didn't want to miss any of the movie; plus, it was super easy to just change seats. No harm, no foul.

He continued to argue with me about how I wasn't being "proactive", and so on. I got so angry that Brent had to come over and rub my hands so I wouldn't spout all of the hatred and vitriol I'd wanted to spout while I was dating this jerk and after he broke up with me. The only reason he's remained on my friends list is because we have a lot of mutual friends and it just wasn't worth the drama. He's been slowly losing a lot of those friends, but I still didn't want to be the one to make the first move to drop him.

Well, I dropped him. I realized I wasn't going to get anywhere just sitting there letting him have access to my Facebook, and I knew how hard it would be for me to hold back. So, rather than tempt myself, and to make his existence a little less obvious, I de-friended him and then went a step further and blocked him.

It felt SO GOOD. I can't believe I didn't do it sooner.

Anyway, I still couldn't calm down, so I decided to go for a walk. After he broke up with me, I went for lots and lots and lots of walks because he made me so angry, and the fallout was even worse. I lost about forty pounds that summer doing nothing but walking (I was still eating like I always do; the exercise was the only adjustment I made to my daily routine). There were some nights I'd walk for 2-3 hours, until I was so sore and spent I practically crawled home.

So, tonight, I went for one of those walks. I turned up my iPod, blasted some angry music, and walked. I walked a lot faster and farther than I usually do, and that's after a long period of not walking. (I've been focusing on upper body workouts to save my knees.) I was surprised and impressed, but I kept moving instead of questioning it. I'm sure the new shoes were a big part of it. I'm so pleased! My legs got tired before my feet, which hasn't happened since that summer in 2008 when I walked the anger away.

Anger is a big motivator for me to exercise, since it's the "safe" way to release it (compared to driving or punching something). I don't want to get angry 4-5 times per week, so I need to find something that can propel me out of my recliner just as easily.

Braces!

In this quest to re-shape my body, I've also decided to re-shape my teeth. May as well be the fat kid in braces for two years and have all the ugly gone ASAP, right? ;)

My family couldn't afford to put me in braces when I was a teenager, and then I couldn't afford them when I was in college and just starting out in the career world. Now that I have a good job with an awesome insurance plan, I can finally afford them. Also, my wonderful boyfriend, Brent, has offered to kick in some money toward them if they end up being over my budget. Isn't that sweet?

I have an appointment on May 9th. Dr. Sage is going to look at my teeth and the way I bite and then give me my treatment options/costs.

If I decide to go ahead with it, we'll set up a second appointment for me to come in for full-mouth X-rays, molds, pictures, etc. This is also where we'd work out a payment plan, taking my insurance and FSA into account. I'm so excited!

I figure it will take just under two years to get to my goal weight, and most braces take 2 - 2.5 years to do their job, hence the "ugly duckling" joke earlier. It's kind of crazy to think I'll be 37 before I'm finally happy with my body and looks, but it's better late than never.

I've been self-conscious of my teeth for as long as I can remember. I hate when I see pictures tagged on Facebook, and I catch myself getting envious every time I see everyone else's pictures, where everyone has straight, perfect teeth. It's been practically an obsession for years and years, because unlike being heavy, I hardly ever see anyone with crooked teeth. My friends were either blessed with good genetics or had braces when they were teenagers.

Cool Thing - Braces nowadays are much smaller than they were back then, so you don't get the train track effect. Dr. Sage also offers clear ceramic brackets, and the wires are so thin you can barely see them. I doubt I can have them put on the back of my teeth or go with Invisalign since I have such severe crowding issues, but I don't mind. I'm just so happy they'll be fixed!

I'm really looking forward to doing the "Before" pictures. The appliance they use to hold your mouth open reminds me of Predator.



So, yes, I'm stoked. Brent thinks I'm crazy because he hated every second he was in braces, but I think it's different when your parents force you to do something and when you do something because you want to.

50% Is Better Than 0%

I did The Firm again tonight, but I totally hit a dead stop about halfway through. I don't know what happened. I was hydrated. I wasn't too hot. I didn't use any heavy weights. I just could not move. I tried to do some half-hearted squats with no weight, just to keep my heart rate up, but my heart was pounding and I felt like I was going to keel over. It wasn't the normal fatigue you feel when exercising, or even the lactic acid build-up; it was just... "I am finished."

Now I'm sitting in my recliner with some water, feeling my heart rate come down. I could go do the last half of the tape, but Brent is going to bed soon. I might go for a walk since it's nice and cool outside and I didn't get to move my legs much.

I tallied my calories for the day, and even if I don't count the exercise, I'm still under my goal by about 600 calories. So I guess it's still a win. 20 minutes of exercise is better than none, and I'm still on track as far as calories are concerned. I just feel like such a wuss for sitting down after 20 minutes. Good thing I ate like a bird today. :-P

My brain was sorting through a lot of thoughts while I was trying to pay attention to the instructors, so maybe that dead stop was a sign I need to get out and walk. I love listening to my iPod while I walk around our neighborhood at night. There are a lot of old, historic homes dating back to the mid-1800s. In fact, the house we're about to move into was built in 1856.

So, off I go to sort and walk and sort some more.

Firm!

I just did this workout for the first time since 1997. It was as awesome and as horrible as I remember. ;)

I used to do this tape 2-3 times per week (alternating with the other Firm tapes) because it is my absolute favorite. It's short and intense at 42 minutes, rather than long and grueling at 60+ minutes like the other Firm tapes from that "season".

Anyway, I was pleased that all the old moves came back to me so easily. I even remembered ahead of her instructions, so I was ready to switch before she announced the next move. By the end of the tape, I was doing everything in that "zombie state" you achieve when muscle memory takes over, sort of like attending Catholic Mass after five years of sinner-hood.

Just follow along with the old folks if you get lost

I kind of feel like death, but not as death-y as I thought I would. My arms are definitely going to scream at me tomorrow, though, and my quads are right there with them. I was very well behaved, though, and took it easy.

You know how, at the beginning of the video, they always say, "Beginners, no weights," and, "Try to aim for 50% of the exercises your first time through."?

LISTEN TO THEM

Every time I started a workout in the past, I would use the recommended weights right away and aim for doing 100% of the exercises like a champ, no matter how awful I felt after six out of eighteen reps. The result was usually knees that felt like I'd stuck barbed wire in them and an inability to lift my arms up high enough to wash my hair. I'd whine and force my way through this until my body was conditioned enough to do it with only a little bit of pain, at which point I'd rock star it up and push myself to use weights that were too heavy all over again.

Sigh.

This time, I was careful. Back then, I was 25 and weighed 230 pounds. With age comes maturity, I suppose. I'm 35 and weigh 350 pounds now; the last thing I need is a blown knee or a slipped disc. I decided to listen to the nice instructors and pace myself. I was able to do 80-100% of the exercises, but I put in 50% of the effort. Instead of lunging until my back knee touched the floor, I dipped until my knee was 50% of the way. Instead of doing 40 french presses, I did 20. Also, I did use some weight, but it was about 30-50% of the recommended weight. I used 3-pound hand weights for most of the 10-pound exercises, and I didn't use any weight when they called for 3-5 pounds.

I'm proud of myself. Since I didn't push myself, I'm not dreading the next workout. Also, I'm mature enough to realize 1) any movement is good, 2) this will help me lose weight, even though I'm not doing 100% of the workout yet, and 3) my heart rate was consistently in the fat-burning zone, so even though I didn't workout like a champ, I'll still reap the benefits. By combining weights with aerobics, I'll still get the results I want (i.e. added muscle, not just fat-burning). Muscle helps burn fat/calories, so it's a win-win.

Ahhhh... here come the endorphins. I love this feeling. :)

All Caught Up

Now that I'm reasonably caught up on sleep and in a much better mood, I've noticed my eating has reflected it. I've stopped binging and eating crap, thank goodness. Now I just have to deal with the damage. I gained three pounds back. :(

Brent just rescued the VCR from the storage closet so I can hook it up in the bedroom. My Firm workouts are in VHS format (heh), and until I can order the DVDs from Amazon sellers, I need to use the tapes. I don't mind being old school. If it works, it works. The problem is we're running out of room on our dresser. Currently, it's holding the TV, Brent's alarm clock, the secondary DVR, and the DVD player. I have no idea where I'm going to put the VCR. :-P

I'll update after I Firm. I have a feeling I'm going to want to die, so I'm doing the time-crunch (40-minute) workout instead of the full-on, kill-me-now 60-minute workout.

~*~

In other news, I've been scanning old photos I found at my parents' house so I can have back-ups in case of fire/flood. Seeing all of these old high school pictures is sort of depressing because I remember feeling super fat back then and used to put my hands over my stomach in pictures. I wasn't fat at ALL. My fingers are practically bony, and you can see my cheekbones and collar bones. I was a size 12 and then a 14 when my hips finished developing. I have a cute, tiny waist and a great shape. I do have what I call "softball thighs", because I carry my weight in my lower body, but I was by no means fat. I wish I could go back in time and lecture everyone who made me feel gross and chubby. I was only 15 pounds overweight for most of high school. That is, by no means, a death sentence like they made it out to be.

Anyway, as depressing as some of those pictures were (because I miss being that size), they were also an inspiration. Now I KNOW that if I can get back to a 14, or even a 16 or 18, I'll be super cute and love myself again. It's hard to love myself right now because I've really destroyed my body. True, I've caught it before I developed heart disease or diabetes, but I'm still very upset with myself. It also sucks that I worry about going to new restaurants and such because my first thought is, "Will I fit in the chairs?" I've never had to worry about that before, and it colors every plan we make. I find it hard to get excited about experiencing things because I'm so scared I won't fit in the seats. There is no way to comprehend this feeling unless you've  ever had to excuse yourself from a theatre, restaurant, ballpark, amusement park, etc because you couldn't sit in the seats. It's humiliating.

So, I'm keeping a few pictures out as reminders. I'm going to tape them to the corners of the TV I use for my Firm workouts so I have a vision in mind. I also want to remember that I didn't always look/feel like this, that I was once "normal".

Weight Loss and Sleep

You know how everyone tells you a good night's sleep is key to helping with weight loss?

Believe them. It's true.

I've been a cranky pig all week because I haven't slept well since last Wednesday.

Background: Brent snores. A lot. It's due to stress, not sleep apnea, weight gain, smoking, etc. It's simply stress. I usually sleep in the spare bed because if I sleep in our bed, he wakes me up at least 5-6 times per night, and I, in turn, wake him up to get him to roll over and breathe normally. Rinse. Repeat. Since neither of us get any rest when we sleep together, I just sleep in the spare bed.

As you can imagine, neither of us particularly like this solution because we miss sleeping next to each other (and we just bought a nice king-size bed last summer, so it's a waste of nearly $1000). So, every so often, I climb into bed with him and prepare for a night of no sleep.

I slept in the bed last Wednesday and Thursday night, and then we went to my parents' on Friday. I woke up early on Saturday for the Easter Egg Hunt with my nieces, and then I got up early to go to church with my dad on Easter Sunday. We came home, and I slept in our bed again Monday night and Tuesday night.

Miiiistake.

I was at my wit's end all day Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. I snapped at co-workers and friends. I was impatient with customers. I ate WAY too much junk food. I even drank some regular soda, which I can't stand now that I've switched to Crystal Light and the occasional diet soda. I'm bloated, as a result, and I'm sure I've gained a couple of pounds. I don't even want to get on the scale. I also haven't exercised, and to top it all off, I got into a fight with Brent last night.

Oy.

So, last night, in the interest of saving my relationship and not losing my job (or friends), I slept in the spare bed. I didn't fully catch up on sleep, but I can already feel a HUGE difference today. I ate a good breakfast, I've been pleasant, my head is clear, and I apologized to Brent and gave him a calm, English version of my current issues instead of the psycho-screamy-meme version.

I don't know how new parents live without sleep. :-P This is reason #127 we don't want kids. We'd be divorced in no time due to my mood swings when I'm sleep-deprived.

Anyway, it's time to admit I simply cannot sleep with him during the week. Weekends will be our compromise, since it doesn't matter if I don't get much sleep (and he isn't stressed as much on weekends, so the snoring is at a minimum).

I can't wait to move into the new place (11 weeks!). Right now, the spare bed is in our living room and looks super ghetto. The new place has two bedrooms, so the spare bed will have a home.

On a slightly-related note, my waist is smaller, but the fat seems to have moved to my chin/neck. GAH!!! I hope it's just bloating from the crappy diet I've had this week and not actual weight gain in my chin. I didn't notice it before this morning, so please please please let it be sodium.

New Shoes

I got my new shoes in the mail today. They're New Balance, style WW860. I absolutely love them. I haven't taken them out for a test walk yet, but I can already tell they're going to be 10x more awesome than my previous shoes.

Image courtesy of New Balance

I've been walking around the house with them, and I can feel a lot more support in my heel/arch. There's also plenty of room for gel inserts, but not so much room that my foot is sliding around. I'm excited to see how they hold up in Chicago.

Reviews on Amazon said they run narrow, but I'm not feeling that at all. I wear a wide width in fitness shoes, so I ordered "wide" and decided to take the chance. These border on being too wide, to the point I'm wondering if the regular width would fit better. I think some of those people who bought regular width simply don't want to admit they should have ordered wide width. ;) Anyway, I'm going to keep the wide since I'd rather have a little bit of wiggle room to allow for days my feet swell.

I got the pink/grey, which I didn't realize was the Susan G. Komen version until I looked inside and saw all the little pink ribbons on the sole. I have mixed feelings about this, since I'm still upset over all that tomfoolery they pulled with Planned Parenthood several months ago. On the other hand, some of the money went to charity, so that's cool. No, I don't like the charity owners, but I do support breast cancer awareness/treatment, so there you have the mixed bag.

It also comes in blue/white, but I like the pink/silver so much better.

FWIW, they're $89.99 + shipping on the New Balance site, but I got them for $64.99 w/ free Super Saver shipping on Amazon. :)

Omron Fat Loss Monitor

A few days ago, I wrote about purchasing a fat loss monitor that would calculate my BMI and body fat percentage.

I received it today. It's lightweight and very easy to use. I programmed in my height, weight, age, activity level, and gender. Then, I followed the instructions, and it calculated my BMI and fat percentage.

Well, almost.

It says it will calculate body fat up to 50%. It gave me the reading E4. When I looked up the error code, it said "reading outside measurable range". :-/

Okaaaay. I'm not going to let that get me down because I know I'm superfat, and now I simply have a new goal (get to a low enough weight to get the machine to cough up 50% or lower). I guess it just surprised me that I'm over 50% fat. Eek. Talk about a wake-up call. According to everything I've read, my body fat percentage should be less than 30%. Looks like I have a long way to go. I just wish it would have given me a number so I know how far I am above 50%.

My BMI was 54. This is no surprise, considering that's the number I get when I calculate it online. Since I have to enter my weight into the machine every time it changes, I'm not sure if it's simply calculating based on what I input or if it uses my fat percentage as some kind of variable?

Anyway, it's a neat little machine, and I recommend it to anyone who is trying to get to a lower body fat percentage and/or increase muscle.

Easter Weekend

Thankfully, I don't care for sweets; otherwise, Easter weekend would have been a nightmare.

We drove up north with two dozen Sweetwater donuts (they are a famous donut shop in Kalamazoo) and two loaves of Asiago cheese bread from Panera. That bread is like crack, especially toasted with a little butter, so that went into the trunk. I almost put the donuts in the trunk because Brent was whining all the way up north because I wouldn't let him have one. I wanted to save them for my parents, since I got all different kinds and wanted them to have first pick. So we stopped in Reed City for gas, and Brent got a donut from the gas station. :-P

Anyway, my parents had all kinds of good food: ham, Polish sausage, eggs, potatoes, sweet potatoes, rolls, veggies, and no desserts (since I'd brought the donuts, Mom decided not to bake). I ended up eating a lot of meat and veggies. Dad gave me a portion of the ham before he put the honey glaze all over it, and I tried to limit the potatoes and eat lots of mixed veggies. I love veggies, but it was hard not to tear into that bowl of mashed potatoes. My sister-in-law makes *amazing* mashed potatoes.

They also had a ton of candy lying around, but I avoided it. I'm not much of a candy person anyway, but I am a grazer, so I'll often pick up food even if it's not something I really want or care for. I just made sure to stay away from the candy dishes, which was pretty easy since I was chasing my niece everywhere. She's almost three and super hyper. :)

Of course, when I got to work today, my boss put three boxes of Girl Scout cookies on my desk. I had forgotten about ordering them back in February. Oops. I have two boxes of Thin Mints and one box of Samoas. Brent LOVES Thin Mints, so I put those in my car right away so I wouldn't be tempted. He likes them frozen, so they'll go into the freezer and out of sight. I also have a box of Samoas. He doesn't like coconut, so I had a couple of them as a snack and then put the box in my desk. I figure I can have a couple every so often as a treat since I don't normally treat myself during the week.

The fat monitor I ordered was supposed to arrive from UPS today. I hope it's there when I get home. I'm going to start Firming this week (that's what I call "using Firm DVDs"), so we'll see how much quicker this weight comes off. I always had good luck with those DVDs in the past. Now that all of the walking has me in better condition, the DVDs won't be so hard. My knees gave me a lot of trouble in the past, but I noticed I can get up and down from the floor without too many issues now. I feel better about squat-presses and lunges than I did a few months ago.

I also have some new shoes on the way. They're New Balance with crazy arch support, so I'm sure those will help quite a bit too. Brent and I love going to Chicago, but my arches always die by mid-day. Hopefully, the new shoes plus some gel inserts do the trick.

Fat Facts

I just bought this from Amazon. It's an electric fat loss monitor.

Back in the day, when I weighed around 300 pounds and went to Curves religiously, they used a similar machine to calculate my fat percentage. What we noticed, as I lost a little over forty pounds, is that I tend to weigh "heavy". My BMI was always a couple of points under the paper-and-pencil version where you use your height and weight as the only calculations. The lady at Curves said that sometimes happens if you have a larger build (me) and dense muscle (also me). I'm not sure how accurate her statement was, but it was nice to see my body fat percentage wasn't as awful as we'd predicted it would be, and the resulting BMI was high but not as high as I thought it would be.

Anyway, remembering that inspired me to order this product. Since the scale can go up, down, left, right, and whirlygig on any given day, I think this will be a more accurate measurement of my progress. I'm going to use it in addition to weighing myself. That way, if my weight doesn't budge but my fat percentage goes down, I'll be happy instead of mopey. Similarly, if my weight goes down but my fat percentage doesn't budge, I know it's probably water weight or the scale being freaky.

I'm excited to receive it, measure myself, and post the results.

About Us

While the focus of this blog will be about weight loss, I'd also like to make it a regular blog. I'll probably interject stories from daily life just so it isn't all about what I ate, what I weigh, and how much I feel like dying after doing crunches.

Your Cast:

Me (Sarah): 35-years old, born in January, grew up in northern Michigan and spent a summer in Chicago. Majored in English at NMU and WMU. Currently work in auto insurance. I'm the nice lady who helps you with your auto claim. I love traveling, trains, reading, roller coasters, swimming, camping, computer games, history, steampunk, the Red Wings, the Tigers, and urban decay/exploration.

Brent: 37 years old, born in July, grew up in Kentucky, Florida, and Texas then moved to Albuquerque, NM when he was 12. Relocated to Michigan in June 2011 to be with me (awww). Works as a computer programmer in the medical field. He loves computer games, video games, zombie/horror movies, "South Park", beaches, mountains, conspiracy theories (to laugh at), chocolate, the Cubs, the Bears, and reading.

Brent and I have been together since January 2010. We were friends for about a year before we started dating. We met on World of Warcraft (an online computer game). We found out we had a lot in common, traded MySpace/Facebook info, and became friends, just like that. I talked to him every night, and then we started emailing each other during the day. In late January, he told me he had feelings for me, and I booked a plane ticket to NM.

I flew to Albuquerque to meet him in February 2010. My struggles with the airplane seat are a story in and of itself. :( Anyway, as soon as I hugged him, I knew he was the one for me. I know that sounds crazy, like some Lifetime movie, but it's true. I felt like I was hugging someone I'd known my entire life. He felt familiar to me; that's the only way I can explain it. It was like we'd been hugging for years.

He came to see me in May 2010, and then I went back to Albuquerque in August 2010. Then, it was a long, horrendous five months until we saw each other in January 2011. At that point, we started talking about him moving here. (He wasn't employed at the time, so it made sense for him to come here.) He hemmed and hawed for a bit, since it wasn't an easy decision, so I came up with the compromise of visiting more often. I'd just gotten a promotion, so I could pay for more train tickets. He decided to come back for a visit in March 2011.

When he did come back in March, he decided to move here. Yay! Saying goodbye after that trip wasn't so hard, but the next couple of months took forever to pass by. He arrived in Michigan on June 1, 2011. Now that I look back on it, the time flew by, but it was crazy-long when we were in the thick of it. I'm glad we plan to stay together forever, because I refuse to do another long-distance relationship. ;)

He found a great job in his career field only three weeks after moving here, so it really was kismet.

Procrastination is Awesome

Wow. It's been a while. So much for updating. Oops!

When I wrote the original entry, I weighed 357 pounds. I'm down to 351 now. I've been walking on and off and trying to watch my food. I've had a lot of slip-ups, mostly due to lack of meal planning. We have a teeny-tiny kitchen with a teeny-tiny fridge. Our freezer will only hold a couple of containers and not much else. Two ice cube trays take up half of it. This means I can't cook ahead, which means I often whip together a quick dinner that lacks nutrition. That, or I'm so hungry that I don't take time to cook and end up having something like cereal or take-out. This really needs to stop. I try to eat very little during the day to make up for my horrible-ness at night.

Anyway, I've noticed most of the weight loss in my waist. That's where I always lose it first (and it's the last area I gain weight). My butt/thighs are always the first to expand and the last to go. I was wearing a size 26 Lane Bryant Right Fit Blue (curvy), average length. Now I'm in a size 24 petite (same brand). My jeans have always been long, but petites never used to fit me because the low rise barely covered me. Now that Lane Bryant has higher rises to accommodate for da booty, I can wear petites. Yay for not tripping on my pants anymore. They fit so much better too. I look thinner simply because my jeans actually fit. Score.

We move into a new place in 2.5 months, so I'll finally be able to use my crock pot and do meal planning. (The new apartment has a human-sized kitchen!) I can freeze an entire week's worth of lunches/dinners. I'm so excited! I love healthy, nutritious food. I've been sick of this grab-and-go lifestyle. I hope the weight starts to melt off once I can start freezing food and planning ahead. My favorite meal is chicken with veggies and couscous. I've been bookmarking/pinning lots of recipes from skinnytaste.com.

Additionally, my friend is creating a workout room in her basement. We're going to do The Firm workouts 2-3 days per week. I'm really excited about that since we used to Firm together years ago. It's a great workout and is both fun and demanding. Also, since our new place is much bigger, I can supplement with "Just Dance" and "Zumba" on the off days. We'll also have a basement and garage, which means I can get a bike and not worry about it getting stolen. I'd love to bike the Kal-Haven trail when it's nice outside.

As for my first entry on January 18, I've already noticed some improvements. My knees don't hurt anymore, which is awesome. Stairs aren't as hard as they used to be. I don't waddle when I walk. So even though I haven't lost a lot of weight yet, I'm already noticing a difference, like I've conditioned my legs to actually work properly. Some friends of ours took us to the dunes the other day, and even though I wanted to DIE halfway through the hike, I felt awesome when we finished. I only had to stop once, after we went up a huge, sandy hill where every step made you slide backward and start all over again. Oof. That was killer. Sure, my boyfriend was running up and down hills like it was nothing, but I tried not to get jealous. I used to weigh as much as he does, and it was just as easy for me back then. I'll get there someday. :)