Friday, March 29, 2013


Up a pound.

I am definitely not shocked, so I'm trying not to grumble about it. I'm just pleased it's not more. When we returned from Chicago, I was up three pounds from sodium, lack of water, and some pretty bad swelling and pain in my left foot. My goal for this week was to maintain, not lose, so dropping two of those three pounds is pretty phenomenal considering I was WAY over on sodium again and barely drank any water. Bad Sarah! ;) I didn't actively try to get rid of that weight, so I really can't grumble too much. I only have myself to blame.

My rings and shoes are still sort of tight, but my pants are loose, so I know it's water, and I know what I need to do. I'm going to drown myself in water all weekend and try to sweat some of it out. Perhaps I'll see a "loss" over the next couple of days. (I'm aiming to get back to 297 by Monday, not an actual loss, hence the quotation marks.)

Honestly, though, I'd like to get past 297, because I can feel my weight loss slowing again, and I'd really like to get out of the 290s before that happens. I still feel perilously close to 300 pounds, and that's super uncomfortable. I honestly will not be able to relax until I see 289 on the scale. It simply won't happen. That "3" is still burned into my brain and still makes me panicky, so it's imperative I get down to 289 or 290. Being this close to 300 means one weekend of horrible eating could put me right back up to a "3", and I will not have that.

Monday, March 25, 2013

Just Dance

I have an awesome new workout!

I bought "Just Dance 3" for the Wii because I was SICK to DEATH of "Turbo Jam" and "The Firm". It's been too crappy to walk outside for, oh, five months now (*grumble*), so I was seriously lacking in the exercise department. Planet Fitness was lots of fun until they extended their $10/month special. It's so unbelievably crowded now that I can't stand it. It really screws up my cardio burn and wastes my time when I have to wait for an elliptical, bike, or treadmill.


I've been playing this game for a few days, and it's super awesome. I LOVE dancing. Like, I cannot stress that enough. I. LOVE. DANCING. I was really into sport dancing during high school and college, and then I started dancing with the SCA and at clubs every weekend. Then, I moved here, and I have no SCA... no clubs... no dancing. Booooo.

This volume has some really great songs, including one by The Chemical Brothers called "Hey Boy, Hey Girl". I usually do that one a few times throughout my workout. I keep going back to it because I love the song and the trippy tribal dance done to it. (It's the one pictured at the top of the page.) Tonight, I played for about 45 minutes and burned close to 400 calories. Not bad. When I think about how often I danced back in the day, it's no wonder I lost 80 pounds in 2000-2001 without even trying.

I can probably increase that burn once I get my legs more involved. Right now, I'm concentrating on getting the arm movements precise since that's how the game scores you. I've noticed that once I get a song down-pat, I move my legs quite a bit more. On some songs, my heart rate goes up to 151-156, but on the songs I'm unfamiliar with, I hover closer to 130. Regardless, I'm moving, and that's all that's important. :)

The other nice thing about it is that you can either flip through the songs and pick ones you like (like I did), or you can set it to "Sweat Mode", and it'll cycle through songs for you. "Sweat Mode" is nice because there's only one brief pause between songs where it asks you to click "A" to move on. So you can just click it and keep going, or you can use that time to drink some water. With the regular mode, you have to click through the menu and select a song, so there's a bit more down time. I like it because I'm picky about music. ;) ("Sweat Mode" does give you the option of picking a different song, but it only gives you 2-3 to choose from, not the entire menu, probably because it only wants to use songs with bpms that match the one you just played.)

It's so much fun that I'm sitting here excited to play it again. I'm tired, but I really want to play a couple songs a few more times, even though I know I'll probably die if I do another 15-20 minutes. Now I know how runners feel when they get that high! :) Plus, Brent is home, and I'm always embarrassed to work out in front of him. Haha.

Have you done any new workouts lately? What is your favorite workout right now?

Friday, March 22, 2013



Image courtesy of Ampersand Seven

Down 2.2 pounds to 297.2. That puts me juuuuuust shy of 60 pounds lost, as in 59.freaking8, so I'm going to count it. :)

I have today off since I worked last Saturday, and Brent was able to finish up a project and get today off too. We're going to Chicago this weekend, and Brent being able to get today off gives us some extra time. I wasn't thrilled about heading there during rush hour, so I was pretty happy when he came home and gave me the news last night. We slept SUPER late, though, so we might end up getting there around 5:00 anyway. Good thing we gain an hour on the way there. ;)

It was hard to get out of bed. I haven't been sleeping well all week, so I crashed around 11:00 last night. I woke up at 7:00 out of habit and then went back to sleep until close to 11:00! Brent's snoring and the kitty antics didn't wake me up a million times like they usually do, so I must have been really tired. I woke up with Brent on my left, Winter by my feet, and Sherlock snuggled up on my right. Once he realized I was awake, Sherlock came up and laid on my pillow above my head, purring his kitty head off. He has a loud, rumbly purr, so there was no way I was going to leave that nest of comfort. Brent woke up around 11:30 and made us some coffee. I still feel sleepy. Geez.

Anyway, I'm pretty excited about Chicago and my weigh-in. I had a goal to get under 300 pounds by this trip, and I nailed it. /pats self on back

Thursday, March 21, 2013

Home, but Not Quite

I love the Home t-shirt Mary is rocking in her blog today, so I wandered on over to their website to grab one for myself.

Unfortunately, the creators didn't consult a map of Michigan.

If you don't live here, you probably wouldn't notice it, but anyone who lives in or near Michigan will see that they completely cut off the Keweenaw Peninsula. To those who aren't familiar with Michigan, the Keweenaw Peninsula forms the "rabbit ears" at the top of the Upper Peninsula.

This is what Michigan actually looks like:

I could forgive them if they left off Isle Royale, since it's uninhabited and not used as part of the icon 90% of the time, but it's pretty stupid to leave off a portion of the state where people actually live. Copper Harbor is a tourist destination, and Houghton/Hancock is home to Michigan Technological University.

Anyway, I sent a review to the company, but they haven't posted it yet. Hopefully, they'll pass it onto the design team so they can reconfigure their silkscreen. I really, really want to purchase a shirt from them, especially since they fund MS research, but I just can't do it when my state isn't correct.

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

New Picture

So I'm not QUITE to 60 pounds lost yet, just a pound away, but I wanted to take a new picture since I feel like it's been a long time.

I'm pretty happy with the way I look in clothes now. While I'm still quite heavy and not happy with the way most things fit, I don't cringe or cry when I look in the mirror anymore. I walk around with more confidence, and I still do an occasional double-take when I see myself in the mirror. I've even done a few happy dances in dressing rooms. :)

Monday, March 18, 2013

Junk in the Trunk Airlines

Ever since flying to Albuquerque to meet Brent for the first time, I've been pretty terrified of flying.

Don't get me wrong; I LOVE flying. I'm terrified because that last trip left me a little gun-shy.

Shortly before I left, Kevin Smith flipped out on Southwest because of their "Customers of Size" policy. This opened everyone's eyes to a policy that, until then, had been fairly mum. Suddenly, other airlines were scrutinized, and lots and lots of forum posters added their own opinions.

Before this, I had never thought it would be an issue. Before that trip to Albuquerque, the last time I'd flown was 2007, when I weighed around 275 pounds. I flew on WestJet, a Canadian airline, from London, ON to Victoria, BC. The seats on those jets are 18", and I didn't feel squeezed-in. The seats were tight, but not uncomfortable, and I didn't feel like I was inching toward my seatmate.

When I reserved my tickets for Albuquerque, however, I started to panic after that news hit the internet. It was one week before my trip, so I had no time to lose weight. I weighed 310 pounds at the doctor's office that week. I was flying on a commuter jet through American Airlines, and I knew the seats were 17". I could barely sleep with all those horrible posts from the forums in my head. Would the seats be okay? I didn't have any seats to measure and compare.

Sure enough, when I boarded my flight, I sat down, and I could barely put the armrest down. I tried to buckle the seat belt, and it was a mere half-inch away from buckling. The guy next to me gave me a disgusted look through the entire process, and I tried really hard to hold back tears. He kept shifting in his seat, making it obvious he didn't want a single fraction of an inch of my thigh touching him. (It was about a half-inch into his seat.) I twisted my hips so I wouldn't touch him and vowed to fly that way for 3.5 hours, uncomfortable as it was. There was no way I could afford a second seat.

Shortly thereafter, the flight attendants came on, gave their spiel, and told everyone to make sure they were in their assigned seat. The guy looked at his ticket, said, "Oh, I'm in the wrong seat," and moved to the row ahead of me. This meant I had two seats to myself (yay!) and didn't have to feel embarrassed. The guy sitting in front of me reeked of body odor, and it kind of amused me that he'd rather sit next to someone who stank instead of a fat girl who was barely in his space. My upper body is very small, and it peeves me off that airlines charge if your lower body encroaches on the other person, but having a large upper body is okay (even though I've had to lean over on some flights to make room for a football player's shoulders).

Anyway, I asked the FA for a seat belt extender and tried not to cry. I knew I was big, but I didn't think I was THAT big, and having to ask for an extender when I was only a half-inch away from buckling it made me feel even worse.

I was miserable all the way to Albuquerque and worried about my flight home all week.

Luckily, the flight home was much better. I ended up next to a guy who was really chatty and liked to talk about traveling. After we put the arm rests down, I said, "I'm sorry if I'm touching you. I haven't flown in a while and didn't know I'd be too big." He sort of waved me off and said, "Hon, NOBODY is comfortable in these tiny seats. Don't worry about it." That made me feel so much better! :) Then I asked the FA for an extender, and he gave me a dirty look. I started to hold back tears again, and the guy next to me said, "Just ignore him. He looks like he's angry at the world. I doubt it's you." Awww. :)

It still sucked, though, because we were both fidgeting to get more comfortable, and I had to keep my legs pressed together as tightly as possible all the way home, which really hurts after a while. He got up a couple of times, and it felt so good to relax and stretch a bit before he came back, but I was miserable before we were even halfway to Chicago.

Since then, I haven't flown. I am perfectly okay with buying two seats since it means I'll be more comfortable and I won't have to worry about touching a stranger (not only do they not like it, but I don't like it either). I have no issue with the policy at all. I simply couldn't afford to buy two tickets when I wanted to visit Brent, so I took Amtrak. Brent is terrified of flying, so he started using Amtrak too, and we've been using it for every trip to Albuquerque since then.

Enter our trip to San Francisco this June. I started to plan it on Amtrak and realized 1) it was almost sold-out, 2) we'd require an extra five vacation days for travel time alone, and 3) the price was insane since the rooms were almost sold-out (there is no way in hell I'm going to sleep in a reclined seat near babies and kids for 2.5 days each way). We started discussing it, and he mentioned he'd be willing to face his fear of flying if I could find a decent price.

My stomach started gnawing at me because I'm only ten pounds lighter than I was the last time I flew. He pointed out that I could be close to 275 by the time we leave; plus, I'd be sitting next to him, and he doesn't care if my thigh is touching his. He said if I could get the arm rest down at 310, that means I can definitely have it down and comfortable by June. All good points.

So, I started looking at flights from Chicago since getting him onto one flight per day will be much less stressful than having to get him on two planes in one day. ;) The cheapest flight was through Virgin Airlines, which I had never heard of until now. I was really impressed with their design, branding, in-flight amenities, and the overall "feel" of the airline.

The best part? A quick check on SeatGuru showed that their coach seats are 19.7" wide.


On most airlines, that's business class or even first class. I couldn't believe it. I double-triple-checked that on every site imaginable, and even Virgin's website confirmed it. Somebody at Virgin sympathizes with women who have wide hips (or at least acknowledges that even skinny people feel crammed in like sardines). Hooray for Virgin! I've nicknamed them "Junk in the Trunk Airlines".

Anyway, I measured the chair in my office at home, and it was 20" between the armrests, which are low like the ones on an airplane. I fit just fine, even in sweats, which don't have a corset effect on my thighs like jeans do.

Since it was a little big, I brought the tape measure to work, where I measured the seat on my office chair. It is 19.7" EXACTLY. I sit in this chair every day, and it is perfectly comfortable. I don't even have to squeeze my legs together.

I did a little dance of joy because now I don't have to worry about our flight at all. Even if I don't lose any weight between now and June 8, I'll still be able to fly without worrying about judgement. I'll also have Brent with me, which means no worrying about some stranger giving me a nasty look, even if I'm not encroaching on their space. I'll probably get a window seat, and Brent will be in the middle seat since he's skinny. ;) Plus, with his fear, he has absolutely no interest in looking out the window.

I do have it as a mini-goal to fly on a plane with 17" seats and be reasonably comfortable. (I say "reasonably" because nobody over 4'8" is truly comfortable in airplane seats.) At some point, I'm going to have to take a test flight somewhere. I'm hoping I can talk Brent into flying to Albuquerque for Christmas, so that may be my test flight. Virgin doesn't have flights to Albuquerque. There are direct flights on Southwest, however, so we'll probably use them. I shouldn't need two seats by then, but I'm going to purchase one anyway since they've relaxed their policy and will refund the second seat once your flight is complete regardless if the flight is full or not. I think that's very nice of them, and it makes me happy since they're one of the cheapest, best airlines out there. Hopefully, I'll board and find out the second seat wasn't really necessary, and having the third seat will just be a bonus. I've been on flights where the middle seat isn't taken, and it's so nice to put that arm rest up and share the space with the other traveler.

Big Changes

I've been at 298.4 the past two days. I'm pleased. If I can stay here and not screw around like I did last week, my daily fluctuations should keep me under 300 from now on. I'll be happy if I can stay at 298 or even see 297 at Friday's weigh-in.

So, onto the big changes/decisions.

I've re-enrolled at WMU to finish the last six classes for my BA. I was unable to finish it in 2005 because I got laid-off and had to move to take a new job before my last semester. I haven't had the money to go back since then. Now, finally, I can finish. I'm so relieved and happy. This will open up SO many job opportunities; plus, I can apply to grad school (library science). I may wait a year or two for grad school, though, depending how things go in...

San Francisco!

Brent and I are 99% sure we're going to move there next summer. We were going to go this summer, but I really, really need to finish school. I didn't want to leave with so few classes left because transferring would put me way behind (I'd lose a ton of credits), and I'd have to pay out-of-state tuition, which is unbelievably expensive. No thanks. It just makes more sense to stay here another year, finish school, and save up for moving. There's a strong possibility I won't be able to find a job before we move, so I'll need a cushion in my savings account. Hopefully, I can fly out for some interviews, but I'm planning for the worst case scenario. Luckily, San Francisco's unemployment rate is super-low compared to most other areas of the U.S.

I say "99% sure" because Chicago is still on the table, mostly because we both like it and Brent is a huge Cubs/Bears fan. On the other hand, I am sick to death of the Midwest climate of bitter cold and sticky humidity, and I really want to live somewhere completely new and different. Also, Brent and I have a much, much better chance of finding jobs in our degree field in the San Francisco Bay area. Chicago's unemployment rate is higher than I'm comfortable with. So, as far as I'm concerned, we're moving to San Francisco, and I haven't heard any arguments against it so far (other than "earthquakes", but then I counter with "tornadoes"). Still, Chicago's on there because Brent likes to have options.

I'm pretty sure he'll pick San Francisco, especially after our trip there in June. I've never been there before, so I'm really excited to see the area. Plus, his best friend lives there, and he really misses him, so that's another push for San Francisco.

Regardless, we're moving somewhere next summer. Brent and I are completely fed up with our jobs, and we hate Kalamazoo. I didn't even want to move here in the first place; I ended up here thanks to an ex whining and pleading for me to move, only to break up with me the second I quit my job and started packing. I've been stuck here for five, horrible years, eager for the day I can finally leave and never, ever, EVER come back. Brent likes to point out that, were it not for that ex, we wouldn't have met, and we wouldn't be where we are financially, but I still snarl internally because I refuse to give that cheating alcoholic any credit for my present condition and happiness.


I am unbelievably excited to get a fresh start, with the man I love, in a city I love, at a job I (hopefully) like/love. I'll feel much better about myself with a degree on my resume, not to mention I'll be approximately 100 pounds lighter when we move, making me less nervous about job interviews.

As for the trip in June, I'll talk about that in another post. This one is long enough already. ;)

Saturday, March 16, 2013


Wow. I didn't update at all last week or this week. Oops.

Anyway, I'm still holding steady at 299. I figured this would happen since I had three huge whooshes within just a few days of each other about a week and a half ago. I tend to lose in big whooshes and then maintain for a couple weeks before another whoosh.

Hopefully, that whoosh comes this week. :) I'd like to get down to 298 or 297 so I feel firmly in the 200s. Right now, my daily fluctuations are still putting a "3" on that scale on occasion since I'm right on that line of 299/300. Grrrr! I'm excited for it to be a steady "2".

Today I calculated that losing 58 pounds means I've lost 16% of my body weight so far. Now that I'm down to 299, if I lose another 58 pounds, that will be 32% of my body weight, and I'll be at a weight where most things are comfortable again but some things are still limited. Another 58 pounds after that will be 49% of my body weight, and I'll be at 183, a weight where I wasn't prohibited from anything (except bikinis and super short skirts, but I have no interest in those things).

It's kind of nice to think I just have to do this two more times and I'll be back to riding roller coasters and not having a care in the world. While I'd love to be 157 eventually, my main goal is really to get under 200 and be "acceptably" fat. I was always really happy between 160 and 190 and never felt shunned, insulted, ostracized, or prohibited from doing the things I love. I did wear plus sizes, but finding attractive clothes and looking good in them is much easier when you're a size 14 or 16 as opposed to a size 24 or 26.

Anyway, I obviously plan to keep losing once I get under 200; I just won't feel as much pressure.

If I can get to 157, my goal weight, I'll have lost 56% of my body weight. Holy cow. I'll have lost half of me and then some. I'll take up half as much space as I used to. That's a very strange concept to me.

I weighed that much in high school, but it was so long ago that I can't remember what it felt like to weigh that much. I thought I was really fat back then (because I was a stupid teenager who thought curves = fat, even though I had muscle and could run two miles), so I don't have any memories of not being fat. My relatives always got on my case about my weight and eating habits, so even though I wasn't fat, I've always felt fat. That is really, really sad. I can't wait to get back to that weight, knowing what I know now, and feel incredibly awesome about it. I hope I don't get that "Fat Girl Curse", where I still feel like I weigh 300+ pounds even though I'm half that size.

Monday, March 4, 2013


Image courtesy of Ampersand Seven

Down 1.2 pounds to 299.4! I'm finally under 300 pounds! Yaaaaayyyyyy! /happy dance

Part of me can't believe it. I haven't seen a 2 on the scale since 2008, and even that was fairly short-lived. I got down to 265 that summer and went right back up to 300 the following January. The last time I was under 300 pounds for any length of time was 2003. It's been a long ten years, and I hope I never, ever see 300 on the scale again. Good riddance.

Saturday, March 2, 2013


Image courtesy of Ampersand Seven

See?!? This is what I'm talking about when I say I really, really need to change my weigh-in day to Friday or Saturday. I always have a whoosh on Friday after being pretty static on Wednesday. I've lost another couple pounds since Wednesday, putting me at 300.6 today.


I am that close to getting under 300. Hopefully, the next time I step on the scale, I'll see a "2" instead of a "3". I'm only 0.7 pounds away, so I'm kind of tempted to sweat it out in the gym tonight. I won't, though, since I'd know it was just water weight and then feel silly when the scale went back to 300.

Still. It IS tempting. ;)

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