Wednesday, February 6, 2013
Wow. I can't believe it's been a week already.
Anyway, I'm down 0.2 from last week. Whoooo. ;) I shouldn't even count that. I could eat a saltine and gain that back! :) But it's pretty much where I wanted and expected to be after last week's whoosh. I knew I probably wouldn't show a loss this week since I lost so much last week, and that's okay. Maintaining is better than gaining, so I'm happy.
I'm one pound (one!!!) away from my next mini-goal of "50 Pounds Lost" and nine pounds away from 299. NINE POUNDS. It feels so close but so far away. I remember when 299 was waaaaayyyyyy off on the horizon, and now it's within reach. I'm getting incredibly impatient. I need to just chill out and let my body do its thing.
I have never been so motivated as I am right now. Once I hit 299, it'll feel like smooth sailing all the way down to goal. I'm not saying it'll get easier physically; psychologically, though, it will be a completely different ball game. I'll be so happy to be under 300 pounds and "normal fat" that I won't feel this incredible rush and push to lose weight like I do right now. So many things will be easier for me (chairs, airplanes, clothes), even in the high 200s, that I'll finally be able to relax and enjoy losing weight instead of still feeling like a giant chunk. I'll be able to enjoy life again while losing weight instead of still struggling to do everything like I do now, despite a nearly-50-pound loss.
It's amazing what a difference nine pounds is going to make in terms of my self-esteem and confidence. I know I'm much more than the number on the scale, but I doubt whoever said that ever weighed 300+ pounds. There comes a point where that number really does define you both in your eyes and society's eyes, as sad as that is.