Brrrrrr...

It is crazy-cold outside. The roads have been awful the past couple days too. I thought about going to the gym last night since I figured the cold and snow would keep the crowds away, but it kept me away too. It took me 45 minutes to do a 20-minute drive, and by the time I got home, there was no way I was going back out in that mess.

So, I decided to do "Turbo Jam".

I almost cried at the end of the DVD last night because I remember doing that workout when I weighed 340+, and it was SO HARD. I would get really happy once I got to the halfway point, trying to push myself to the end. Sometimes I'd stop halfway through and then go for a walk because it was just too much for me. Sometimes I'd sit for a minute and then get back to it.

Last night, I realized I was doing everything and not wishing for death. It wasn't EASY, but it wasn't hard either. It was just a "normal" workout for me. I pushed myself whenever my heart rate started to dip, doing more of the moves, running instead of marching, jumping, and giving it my all, right up until the end. I was actually smiling and really into it all the way through too, which has NEVER happened. ;)

I've never had my heart rate dip during that workout, so that was a first. Part of me is happy because it means I'm getting more conditioned, and part of me thinks, "Aww, man. I can't let my weight do the work for me anymore. Now I actually have to push to get/keep my heart rate up." It's a good thing, though. I like having a healthier heart.

Hopefully, actually sticking to my eating and exercise plan results in another loss for the week. I don't know what was up with my discipline in October, November, and December. I'd do really well and then fall off the wagon. I didn't go over my calories, but I got lazy about carbs and exercise. It was a huge wake-up call after New Year's Eve, though, when that scale got back up to 320. (320!)

I'm close to 310 again, thankfully, but it makes me angry that I "wasted" three months that I could have been losing weight and getting my butt below 300.

Oh well. Better late than never. :)