Weigh-in

Down 0.8 to 312.4. I'll take it. I gained another couple pounds last week, got up to 314-ish, and realized I did NOT want to be stuck at 315 AGAIN. I'm still mad that I got all the way down to 310.4 and then gained a ton of weight over the holidays. Anyway, I tightened up my carbs, and I went to the gym for the first time since - wow - before Christmas. So, I've dropped a couple pounds, but I can't really count them since my last official weigh-in was 313.2. ;)

I've started to realize that I'm one of those people who can't do it through diet alone. Every time I've lost weight successfully, it was because I exercised. As I've said before, I've lost weight "accidentally" three times, and it was because I had increased my activity tenfold. My eating didn't change, but I was probably burning enough calories through dancing and walking and such to make up for it.

Every time I hit one of these stalls or gains, as soon as I start exercising again, the weight starts coming down. I really, really, really cannot afford to be lazy anymore. I need to keep exercising and stick with it. I'm not in a rush to get the weight off, but I AM tired of stalling and losing 1-2 pounds here and there. I want a nice, steady loss every week, even if it's half a pound.

Despite not going to the gym for 3-4 weeks, I was able to do six minutes on the elliptical without a problem. I don't know why I stopped at six. I probably could have gone longer. I was in a nice rhythm. I thought I'd have to start at four minutes all over again since it had been so long, so I was surprised. Maybe I'll try to stay on for ten minutes next time. I obviously have it in me. I just have to stop wussing out. ;)

So, I have two pounds left to get to my lowest of 310.4, and then I need to get to 309 (BMI under 50) and then 307 (50 pounds lost). I feel like I've been stuck in the 310s for-EV-er, and I have, but it's my own damn fault. I got to 318 in mid-October, and I've been waffling my way to 309 ever since.

I have a doctor appointment on Feb 4th. I'm pretty nervous, even though he kept telling me he won't get upset if I don't lose anything, he just doesn't want to see a gain, and he was the person who warned me weight loss with insulin resistance is really darn slow and super frustrating.

Still. He's my doctor, and he was SO excited about my big losses from July to September that now I feel like I'm going to disappoint him with my "measly" four pounds lost. I'm hoping to get another few pounds off by then, but even still, I have a feeling I'm going to blubber all over him. Thank goodness he lost over 100 pounds and understands how much work it is. I'm still paranoid he's going to think I cheated, even though he knows me better than that.