Fat Loss Monitor

Well over a year ago, I wrote about my new fat loss monitor. I wasn't aware that it would error out if your body fat is over 50%, but I figured I'd hang onto it and use it once I lost more weight.

When I did the measurement/caliper test back then, my body fat percentage was around 60-62%, depending on the calculator I used.

A couple of days ago, I decided to update my settings in my fat monitor and give it another try, just for the heck of it.

Here are the results:

While this is still nowhere near acceptable, at least I have a reading now. :)

I'm still not sure about the accuracy of these things. I've read a lot of conflicting reports about body fat scales, but this isn't a scale. I'm going to do a little more digging.

I took another reading today (about one week later), and it's down 0.2%. I lost close to a pound during the week too. I have a feeling all of this swimming is helping me maintain lean body mass and that's why the scale has been pretty steady around my most recent plateau weight. Anyway, I'll have to see if I have a steady downward slope or if the readings are all over the place over the next few weeks. That said, I'm not going to rely on the fat monitor any more than I rely on my scale. The only reliable thing is the tape measure.

Regardless, I'm pleased. It's nice to know there's one more thing I'm not too heavy for anymore.

Couch to 5K: Week One, Day One

I felt so weird typing that title with full words. Everyone on MFP, SparkPeople, etc. use common abbreviations for the program. From here on out, you'll see me use abbreviations as well. Here's a handy guide:

C25K = Couch to 5K
W1D1 = Week One, Day One
W1D2 = Week One, Day Two

And so on.

Anyway, I completed W1D1 last night. I was really pleased with my results! I have no idea what my "splits" were or anything like that because I'm not timing myself yet. I'm just jogging when it tells me to and then walking when it tells me to.

Week One is a five-minute warm-up walk, then 60 seconds of jogging alternating with 90 seconds of walking (8 reps of this cycle), and then a five-minute cool-down walk. I actually did more of a 10-minute warm-up and cool-down since I walked to/from the little track I used.

The track is near an intermediate school and goes around a baseball diamond. It's very small and nothing fancy. I figured it would just be a nice, semi-secluded place to jog since I didn't want to go to the university track with the marathoners and hard-bodies.

When I got there, I saw a few families on the playground, some maintenance men working on scaffolding, and a couple people playing Frisbee with their dogs on the grassy area inside the track.

Mrrrrrrppphhhhh.

But, I shrugged, said, "Eff it," and continued my merry way to the track. When the "jog!" cue came on, I started jogging.

And it was hard.

And I was breathing heavy.

And I have NEVER EVER felt so heavy.

But it was FUN! I was able to jog all of the jogging portions, something I worried about before starting. It got harder and harder every time I did it, but I didn't stop to walk. I stuck it out for the full sixty seconds and then thought, "OH THANK GOD," when it told me to walk.

I'm not sure if it's because it was something new, different, and/or challenging, but I rocked it. Oh, I felt like death. Don't get me wrong. I should have brought water (that was an idiot move on my part), and I prayed for a breeze, but it wasn't so bad overall. My left foot kind of hurt and was numb near the end of the walk home, but a few real experienced runners said I probably had my shoes laced too tightly. I didn't realize your feet swelled when you jogged, so lesson learned. I'll keep the left foot a bit looser next time and maybe add a gel pad. My shoes have AH-MAZING support and feel AWESOME when I walk, so I don't think it's the shoes. If the pain doesn't go away, I promise to get it checked out at a shoe store. ;) I can always keep these for walking and use a different shoe for running.

It could also be that I'm not used to using those muscles for impact (walking isn't as impact-y as running), and I did some pretty bogus, half-assed stretches beforehand, so yeah. First time fail. But! It's all part of learning, right? :)

When I got home and took my shoes off, my feet felt fine. I'm really feeling it in my legs today, though, so that's good. It makes me feel like I really did work those muscles last night. C25K has a rest day every other day, and now I see why. The idea is to ease you into running without pain or injury and to give your muscles time to repair so you don't keel over the next time you go out. I'm pleased. We'll see how I do on Day 2. I'm so excited to get out there again. I felt like a rock star when I got home, even though I only jogged for eight minutes alternating with walking.

Okay. I need to stop saying "only". I jogged for eight, one-minute intervals. There. No more qualifiers.

-=-

I had every intention of working out my upper body tonight, but then Brent and I got into it about (what else?) money, like we always do when we have a trip coming up. I've been in charge of this trip forever, since I'm in charge of all things that involve planning, and I've told him a THOUSAND TIMES that we have the least expensive hotels; a super huge discount on the rental car thanks to my employee discount; discounts at every attraction between my employee discounts, Mikey's employee discounts, and Groupons; and oh-em-geeeeee just drop it. When I come home from work, the last thing I want to do is listen to someone worry and fret over something I've explained a bazillion gajillion times, and I don't want to solve problems. I need an hour to detox from helping approximately forty people every day. All I do all day is answer questions and fix things, so when I get home, I just want happiness and smiles and some food and my workout before I have to answer a question.

I'm also pissed because I feel like he doesn't trust me, and nothing pisses me off more than second-guessing my intelligence and planning skills.

Gah.

I felt bad because I got upset, went to my room, and slammed the door shut. (I know. Mature, right?) Then I tried to work out, and I just could not get into it. I was so upset that I hated everything, and I can usually power through, but I was ready to throw the weight at the stupid instructor's head. So I grabbed some water and decided tonight was a bust, which makes me even more pissed off. I can hear him creeping around, so I know he knows I'm still mad. :-P

-=-

I bought some hair dye since I'm going grey and not in a flattering way. The hair dye is a foam kind instead of the usual liquid. I really like it. It still smells a bit, but it has this hilariously overwhelming beer and chocolate smell to it in addition to the whatever-it-is-that-makes-it-burn-your-nose. With the windows open and the exhaust fan in the bathroom going, my nose didn't burn as much as usual, and the beer and chocolate smell kind of amused me.

It's just a dark-brown-almost-black color, the same as my hair. My hair tends to get lighter in the summer, so I dye it since my eyebrows are black and don't change. I end up looking really weird if I don't dye it. And now that the grey is showing up more frequently, I suppose I'll have to start having my stylist color it whenever I go in for a cut.

When did I get old? This is so weird.

Couch to 5K

Since I read so many blogs from runners, it makes sense that I have the bug too. I haven't run since high school, when I ran a mile in gym class every Friday and got my time down to around 11:30 from 14:50. ;) I had NO idea what I was doing, and now that I have tons of information - almost too much information - I think I have a grasp of how to start, what to do, what not to do, and how to get better.

I have to take the first step, though.

I found an awesome app called JogFM (they also have a website). You can put in your desired running pace, and they'll give you hundreds of songs that fit that pace. For example, I chose a 12:00 mile to start, and they gave me over 200 songs at 130 bpm! I'm going to queue the songs up on my iPhone along with my Map My Walk app and my Couch to 5K app. (Reminder: charge my battery before I head out.)

The Couch to 5K app gives you verbal cues to walk and run, depending on the week and day you're on. Today is Week One Day One, so I start with a five-minute warm-up walk, and then I alternate 60 seconds of jogging with 90 seconds of walking for a total of 20 minutes. That doesn't seem so bad. We'll see how I feel later. ;)

The Map My Walk app is to see how far I've actually walked/run. The songs are designed for a 12-minute mile, but they have no idea what kind of stride I'm using. I'm going to jog very slowly and carefully, as opposed to someone who might be running with more confidence (and less weight), not to mention someone with longer legs. The song is simply for pacing, to ensure I don't run too quickly or slowly. I'm interested to see my exact mile pace at the end.

In honor of my new endeavor, I purchased real running shoes:


These are Asics Gel-Fortes. I got them on sale for $85 on eBay. I LOVE THEM. They are so, so much better than the Brooks Ariels I had. I sold those on eBay because they were clunky, and the arch hurt my feet so badly I couldn't even walk a half-mile without limping and wincing. These have a slightly lower arch, with a lot of support right where I need it (on the inner part of the arch). They feel like they were molded to my foot. :)

Note: If you're going to try these, go a half-size up. I normally wear an 8.5 in athletic shoes, but I had to buy a size 9. The toebox fits perfectly, but the heel slides a little bit. I'm interested to see if they pull my socks down like the Brooks did. I tried them on during lunch, but I'm wearing flip-flops today and had to test them out barefoot. /crosses fingers for no sock pulling

Unfortunately, I'm not going to be able to keep up with C25K after Friday because we're leaving for

ZOMG SAN FRANCISCO!!!

I can't believe it's here already. :) We're heading to Chicago after Brent gets out of work Friday night, and we're spending the night near the airport. We got a sweet deal on a room with a Park & Fly package. $75 for the room and parking, which is cheaper than parking at the airport. Score. I figure this will give us time to deal with a car breakdown or forgetting something or whatever, rather than rushing around and possible missing our flight on Saturday. Plus, we can sleep later on Saturday since we just have to take the shuttle to the airport instead of getting up early to drive to Chicago.

I thought about starting C25K after we get back, but I'm too impatient. I figure I can restart Week One when we get back. That, or I can do it there. Whenever I go to the west coast, I end up completely borked on sleep. I wake up at 6:00 AM and pass out around 10:00 PM because my body is still on Eastern time. So I've been planning, for a while, to get up, work out for a bit, eat some breakfast, and shower before Brent rolls out of bed. Even though he'll be on Eastern time too, his sleep schedule is way different from mine. I figure I'll have three hours before he wakes up, which is plenty of time to jog/walk/swim if I want to. Yay, vacation. :)

I cannot believe I just came up with a fitness plan for our vacation and that I'm actually excited about getting up early to exercise! If you'd told me I'd say this a year ago, I would have looked at you like you had lobsters crawling out of your ears. Hooray for healthy habits, weight loss, and synthetic hormones. ;) I'd say this is a pretty good NSV!

Major League NSV

I fit!

For years now, I've been so upset that I couldn't fit in the seats at Wrigley Field. The first time Brent came to visit, May 2010, I could scoot back a little but couldn't actually sit. Then, I gained 40-ish pounds, so in September 2011, I couldn't fit AT ALL. I spent the entire game on the very edge of the seat with my knees mashed against the seat in front of me. We ended up standing at the back of the section, which hurt my feet, so I spent the entire game in pain no matter what we did. I was absolutely miserable and kept crying because I felt like I was ruining our day.

Then, we went back in July 2012 when we took my dad, and I'd lost 10 pounds, but of course I didn't fit since I was heavier than the first time we went. We sat at the front of the section so I could scoot forward without any knee pain. We also wanted to make sure my dad had a ton of leg room, and that was the official reason, but the secondary reason was because I was too fat.

As you can see, I've been obsessed about these seats for quite some time. ;)

So, this time, I was about 15 pounds smaller than the first time we went. I wasn't sure if I'd be able to fit yet, but I did! Not only did I fit, I was comfortable. :) I could sit all casual and laid-back like Brent did and didn't feel stuffed in. I even wrapped a thick blanket around myself at one point (it was freeeeezing) and still fit just fine. I felt like a "normal" person, someone who can just go and see a ball game and not worry about something as silly as the seats. This is one of those things that so many people take for granted before they're obese. If you've never wondered if you'll fit in a chair, consider yourself lucky and make sure you lose weight before you get to that point, because it's hell to live that way.

I was going to have Brent take a picture of me sitting in the seat, but the angles were weird and we were in a high-traffic area, so he couldn't get a good shot. I do have a picture of the seats, though. They're those really old-fashioned seats designed for butts from the 1930s. See?


We also got a picture of us, after I'd wrapped myself up in a blanket.


Fitting in the seats at Wrigley Field was an item on my 101/1001 List, and it felt SO GOOD to hit that one out of the park. :)

Wrigley Field

Quick post with my **2X** Cubs t-shirt. The last time we saw a game (last summer), I wore a 5X in this brand. I made sure to buy the same brand so I could compare legitimately. I'm so scientific. ;)



That's our hotel room, and that's why the bed isn't made. ;)

More later. I'm off to see if I can finally fit in those seats!

Ha!

As I was modeling some new clothes in the mirror the other day, proud of my progress and finally excited about shopping for new clothes, I remembered this blog post.

When I read it, I was amused that I'd written it exactly one year beforehand.

Now, I didn't hit my goal of 265 by Thanksgiving, like it mentions, but that's okay. That's before I started struggling, only to find out I have insulin resistance and had to change my entire lifestyle. It also causes very, very, very slow weight loss. So, while I didn't make that goal, it's not a big deal. "Normal" people can lose 8-10 pounds per month, but I am not normal and lose approximately 3-6 pounds per month, sometimes 1-2.

But that doesn't matter.

What IS a big deal and what REALLY matters is that I don't feel like I did during that blog entry!

In that blog entry, I was really upset that I had to lose another 50 pounds to still feel horrible, and that made me very sad. I mentioned that I'd still feel and look disgustingly fat at 290, so those 50 pounds wouldn't even matter.

This is not true! I think I look nice, maybe even borderline cute some days, and that's because I dress to fit my body. I still have to cover my upper arms because they look like the Michelin Man, but I play up my waist-to-hip ratio (which is just nuts) and wear lots of fun jewelry with colors and clothes that complement me.

The reason I looked so "disgustingly fat" at 290 was because that was my heaviest at the time, and I was severely depressed. I wore a lot of black, shapeless clothes and didn't wear makeup or jewelry. In the two pictures where I made an effort, I looked much better, even though I was the same weight.

Now that I'm happy about my weight loss and dress accordingly, I look much thinner at 295 now than I did when I weighed 295 then. Much, much thinner.



Another reason I was happy to remember and read that post is that it proves that you cannot give up and cannot give in. A year will go by SO quickly, and hey - there's 60-100 pounds gone, just like that! If I had given up when I'd written that blog post, I'd still be 340-ish pounds, maybe even more. I'd still be huge. I'd still be depressed. I couldn't have done a lot of the things I've done during the past year.

Instead, I weigh 295 pounds, and I'm extremely proud of myself. :) I can do more and do it for longer periods of time. Thanks to buckling down during "Ass-Kicking April", I feel strong and awesome, even though I'm still morbidly obese. I look forward to exercising and use it to deal with stress instead of turning to food.

When I watch TV at night, I get bored because I'm not eating and don't know what to do with my hands, so I haven't watched as much TV. I've been shopping around for an elliptical so I can exercise while catching up with the DVR. I would have told you you were on crack if you'd told me I'd say this a year ago.

Also, I hate sitting still! I never thought I'd say that. I couldn't even get out of my recliner without severe pain when I wrote that blog post, and now I can walk three miles at a 3.5 mph pace without losing my breath or feeling tired. As soon as I can get that up to 4 mph, I'm going to start "Couch to 5K".

Please don't give up. Don't let your brain win this fight. Keep going, keep going, keep going. You will have bad days. You will have bad weeks. Do. Not. Give. Up. It doesn't matter how long it takes to come off, as long as it comes off. Every pound, every inch, every binge-free day, every minute of exercise - those are victories. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise, and if your brain tries to whisper those thoughts late at night, tell it to STFU.

No Longer Stupid

Third anniversary bouquet and teddy bear

One year ago, I wrote this entry.

I was upset because Brent and I had gone to dinner for our 2nd anniversary, and it left me feeling fat and horrible.

Now, one year later, I don't weigh what I thought I would (260), but I feel infinitely better both mentally and physically. I've lost 45 pounds since last April; I never thought 45 pounds could make such a big difference.

Yes, April. Despite how upset I was in that blog entry, it still took me another three months to get going.

Here are the points I raised in that entry compared to how far I've come:

Worrying about finding a seat at the movie theatre with a moveable armrest and then doing the musical chair dance to ensure you end up in that seat, with nobody to your left (or right as the case may be), without being obvious about it because you don't want them to know you want it because you're too fat to fit between the armrests. Since movie chairs are designed for fatties, not fitting means you're superfat. Side note: if your boyfriend ends up next to the armrest you want to move, move it and make up something like, "I want to snuggle."

I no longer have issues with movie theatre seats. Brent and I have been to the movies twice in the past couple of months, and I fit without any issues. I even have room to move around. When I raise the armrest to "snuggle", it truly is to snuggle, not because I need more room.

Paying for two seats on an airplane. I don't think the policy is stupid. What's stupid is being the size of two people, hence needing two seats. This also means I can't travel anywhere without coughing up $600-700.

I still, technically, need two seats. The seatbelt fits, and I can put the armrests down, but it's a very tight fit and I'm really uncomfortable. I have to press my legs together to keep my thighs from pushing against the person next to me. I don't like feeling crammed in, and it's not fair to the other person, so I do still need two seats. This doesn't surprise or bother me, though, since the last time I flew comfortably, I weighed 250 pounds. I know I still have some work to do, and that's okay. Maybe I'll be able to hit this one by our fourth anniversary. :)

Going to Chicago with your boyfriend and crying because you don't fit in the seat at Wrigley Field, meaning you have to stand in the back through the entire game. Later, you won't fit into the seats at the planetarium. This results in a meltdown because you are too scared to go anywhere else for fear you won't fit. Also, huffing and puffing your way up the subway steps. Or better yet, having to sit down every half-hour while touring museums because your feet are tired of supporting your weight. The best? Not being able to fit in the patio seating at a restaurant, so you have to wait an hour for a booth (also tight).

We haven't been to Wrigley since I lost 15 pounds (last July), so I'm not sure how the seats are now. I weighed exactly what I weigh now the first time we went (312), and while I couldn't sit all the way back in the seats, they weren't uncomfortable. I could still scoot far enough back that my legs had room. The reason we had to stand when I weighed 357 was because I was practically squatting on the edge of the seat and my knees were dying from being bent like that. I'm excited to go this spring because I bet I can get under 300 by then. I can't wait to see if I can sit all the way back.

The planetarium seats are fine now.

I can walk up/down subway steps without any issues. I did it for an entire day in October, and by the time I got tired, Brent was tired too, so I didn't feel "fat".

I didn't have to sit down at the museum until we'd been on our feet for nearly four hours. Even Brent and Stacy were getting tired, so again, I didn't feel "fat". I felt like any other person sitting on the benches after a long day.

Booths aren't tight anymore, but I haven't had a chance to test patio seating yet. Again, that will have to wait for spring. I'm not concerned. I have a feeling I could probably sit in patio chairs right now, and I'll be even smaller by spring.

Not being able to pull yourself out of the pool because you got used to being weightless, and now your arms and legs can't shove you out of the water.

Ha! I forgot about this one. That was horrifying. I almost fell back into the pool because I could NOT pull myself up that ladder and almost lost my grip. I've been swimming many, many times since then, and I haven't had a single issue. I actually look forward to swimming again. We're going to Chicago in March, and I made sure the hotel has a pool. :)

Postponing getting out of the recliner for a drink or food or a bathroom break for as long as possible because you can't stand the pain in your knees when you get up. Then, you collapse back into the recliner immediately after you take care of whatever need you required, as if you just ran a marathon or something.

This is one of those things where I never thought it would happen to me, but it did, and now it's a distant memory again. I am constantly getting up to get a drink or talk to Brent or go to the bathroom or whatever without a second thought. My knee only bothers me if I worked it too hard the day before, and even then it's not that bad. I remember those days, though, and I'm so grateful I don't feel that way anymore, especially since our new place is three times the size of our old place. ;)

Doing laundry on the last possible day (i.e. running out of socks or underwear) because you can't stand going up and down three flights of stairs.

Ha! I do laundry every week now, sometimes twice if I need a couple things for the weekend. Also, in our old place, you had to go down three short flights of stairs. Our new place has four long flights, there are twice as many stairs (yes, I counted), and they're much steeper. I don't even think about it. It's work, yes, especially with a laundry bag full of clothes, but it's no big deal.

Driving two blocks to your favorite restaurant under the pretense, "It's too cold outside," instead of admitting to your boyfriend you're too embarrassed to walk with him. Why are you too embarrassed? Because even though he won't admit it, he has to slow his pace by 50% to allow you to waddle along next to him. This makes you feel like an invalid, which makes you feel ashamed. You're only 35, for crying out loud. 80-year olds can out-pace you. That's not right.

We walked to the restaurant last night, and I kept pace with him. At one point, I was walking faster. :) Also, I don't waddle anymore, and that's cured a lot of my previous foot issues. I used to over-pronate because I had to walk around my thighs. Now, my feet are straight and my stride is correct.

Eating to make myself feel better

I never do that anymore. Ever. I slipped for two days after Christmas because I was so overwhelmed with stress, but then I got right back to eating correctly and exercising and dropped all ten pounds of Christmas bloat. I'm back to the point where I respect food and I'm almost afraid of it (yes, I know that's a whole new issue) instead of loving it and using it to comfort me. I just cannot and will not be that big again, and I want to be under 300 pounds so badly it hurts.

On that note, Brent is still in bed, so I'm going to head to the gym. :)

NSV

In contradiction to my binging entry, I'm able to put up two NSVs today.

Back in October, I posted that I could finally put the armrest down at the movie theatre. It was still tight, but it was down.

When we went to see The Hobbit on Sunday, not only could I put the armrest down, it wasn't tight at all. I actually had some wiggle room to move in my seat to snuggle with Brent, bend over to put my phone in my purse, and so on. It fit comfortably, like I wasn't overweight at all. It was a nice, "normal" feeling.

-=-

Today was my annual eye appointment. The last time I saw the eye doctor was late November 2011, and then I went back in early January 2012 to pick up my frames. Both times, I was unable to sit in the waiting room chairs. They're really nice chairs with wooden frames, and I had to sit on the edge since the arms were too tight.

When the doctor called me in for my exam, I started to sit in the chair and realized it wasn't wide enough. He moved one of the armrests out of the way and very kindly said, "Here, let me make this a bit more comfortable for you," with absolutely zero judgement in his voice. I still felt horrible, though. That moment became one of many moments on the List of Why I'm Doing This.

I was a bit excited about going today because I've been really into this whole "Test All the Chairs!" thing. Every time we go somewhere we haven't been in a while, I get both nervous and excited during those few seconds before I sit down. Sometimes the chairs are still tight, but not as tight, and sometimes I fit just fine. Brent kind of smirks (in an amused, not mean, way) when he notices me wiggling between the armrests or checking to see if my belly has more room in a booth.

So, when I walked in, I gave the office manager my name, took my coat off, and headed straight for a chair. I sat down like I had every right in the world to sit there, and I fit just fine! It wasn't even tight. I could feel the armrests against my legs, but it wasn't uncomfortable at all; I just noticed them there. I felt so proud.

Then, when I went into the exam room, I sat in the exam chair before he could offer to move the armrest. Again, I fit just fine. It was a bit tight, but he didn't say anything or offer to move it. I was comfortable enough; it wasn't digging in, just kind of tight, like new jeans.

When he asked if I was on any new medication, I mentioned the metformin. I noticed a slight change in his poker face before he went back to neutral, and I quickly mentioned I don't have diabetes, just insulin resistance. (It is very important for an eye doctor to know if you have diabetes, so I knew he was just concerned, not judging me.) He asked, "Any other changes in health," and I was pleased to say, "Yes, I've lost nearly fifty pounds." He asked how long it had taken, and I told him about seven or eight months. He nodded and said, "Good. That's a healthy pace."

My eye test itself was fine. He noticed my astigmatism has adjusted a slight bit (the angle, not the severity), and then he told me I actually have 20/15 vision, and that's why it takes me a second to focus when I put my glasses on, since glasses correct to 20/20. He said without the astigmatism, I'd have A+ eyesight. I preened a little. :)

Side Note: my boyfriend, who is 38-years old, has 20/15 vision and probably won't need glasses until he's in his sixties. You all have permission to be wicked jealous of him.

Anyway, after we finished the usual stuff, he said, "We're going to do a new test today since you've entered the bifocal age range." I wish I had a picture of my face because he smiled and said, "Your vision is fine; we just have to do all of the required tests to be absolutely sure. You probably won't need them until you're 65." That made me relax a little, but BIFOCAL AGE RANGE?!? It made me feel so old. ;)

I actually really like bifocals, though. I know you can get them without the visible lines now, but when I do need them, I'll probably leave the lines on. They always make me think of librarians, and I think they look classy. Maybe I'm just weird.

Weigh-in & Some Pictures

Image courtesy of Ampersand Seven
Down two pounds to 310.4. I'm so close to 309 (BMI out of the 50s) and 307 (50 pounds lost) I can practically taste it. If I keep losing at my current rate, I'll hit 307 in a couple of weeks. I was hoping to be 307 by Christmas so I could tell my family I lost 50 pounds, but hey - 47-ish or 48-ish or whatever it is by then is close enough. :) I'm really proud.

Last night, I realized I was wearing the same shirt (different color) that I am in my original progress picture. I also wore the exact same blue shirt in my progress pictures from 25 pounds lost. So, I took some new pictures, even though I haven't hit 50 pounds yet.

I put the overall progress pictures on the Photos page. Here are the blue shirt pictures showing a nearly-25-pound difference. I can really see it in my stomach (not hanging as much) and thighs/butt (not quite as wide).

You can also see that this shirt is getting pretty big on me. I wear it with pajama pants now. It's super comfy.

I think it's interesting that when I lost the first 25 pounds, it was sort of hard to tell the difference between 357 and 332. But then I looked at the 332 pictures versus these pictures at 310, and the nearly-25-pound loss is more obvious. This really makes me happy! I know that losing 25 pounds is way more obvious the less you weigh, but I didn't think I'd start seeing a difference while still over 300 pounds. :)

Chicago!

Okay, so it's been forever, but finally - the Chicago trip log!

It started with a super-early shift at The Farm:

Ugh.
I took the 7:00 shift because I screwed up and forgot to request a half-day when I traded for the regular 8:30 shift. Since I couldn't take a half-day, I figured I'd trade for the early shift and get out at 3:30 instead of 5:00. Every minute counted because we had to make it to the South Shore train in Dune Park in time.

I normally work at 10:30, so getting up 3.5 hours ahead of schedule was not fun. I stopped at McDonald's for an egg and bacon biscuit because BITE ME and grabbed some coffee while there too. Our cafe doesn't open until 8:00, and I was not about to wait an hour. McDonald's coffee tastes like licking a cast iron pan, but I wasn't about to complain. I poured approximately nine teaspoons of Splenda into it and pretended it was medicine and, therefore, good for me.

Once the cafe opened, I got more coffee. The Farm coffee tastes like acid rain, so I hopped that stuff up with more Splenda and some hazelnut creamer.

For lunch, I had pizza and Diet Mountain Dew.

All was fine until after lunch. Then I crashed in the most epic way possible. I looked like a meth addict. I could hardly keep my eyes open, but I was twitchy and itchy. It was fabulous, and I still had three hours to go.

Once I was finally free, I raced over to Brent's office to pick him up, and then we were on our way.

Luckily, we didn't get pulled over, and we beat Google Maps' estimate by at least thirty minutes. So that meant we had lots of time to hang around and take pictures.

Check out the old Diet Pepsi logo! I also like the label that simply says "ORANGE".
Our train ended up delayed due to some "freight or passenger issue", so we sat around with a bunch of other people and listened to some guy plan his next RPG session. Folks, if you are on your cell phone, use your indoor voice; otherwise, everyone will laugh as you chastise your friend for letting some chick crash on his couch three weekends in a row without getting anything in return. F'real.

Once the train showed up, we took our seats and assessed. The South Shore is a commuter train that runs on electricity (this will come into play later) and is more like a mass transit train than a fancy-pants train like Amtrak. The seats are plastic with a vinyl cushion, it doesn't have tray tables, and it doesn't serve food or drinks. It does have a bathroom, though, and the windows are big and wide. Unfortunately, I don't have any pictures inside the train because I was too busy watching the movement on my GPS. This train was much slower than driving or taking Amtrak, but we didn't have to worry about parking, and it was fairly relaxing.

We got off at the Millennium Park/Randolph St station (the end of the line), and this is where the real test began. We had to schlep our stuff over a half-mile to the hotel. Now, this is no great distance by any means... NOW... but it nearly killed me last year. Brent had the suitcase, so I took the backpack, and off we went.

I kept up with everyone going up the stairs to the street level.

I kept up and passed people as we walked through the theatre district.

As we crossed the river and stood on the bridge to check out the view, I noticed I hadn't even broken a sweat or taken a deep breath, and my feet were fine. I wasn't tired at all. In fact, I could have walked more, and I was pretty energized. First test passed.

The hotel was ri-DIC-ulous. I fell in love the second we walked into the lobby. It was dark outside at that point, so picture this even darker and more vampy.

I was like, "YES. I will LIVE HERE," and Brent said, "Maybe we should check in first."

The desk clerk was very French and very friendly. I couldn't stop staring at the candles. Those mirrors have candelabras etched into them, and then the votive holders are mounted to them and have real candles in them. The check-in desk is a cabinet full of antique glassware. I'm glad Brent handled the check-in because I was standing there like some kind of French Revolution/Lestat fangirl. It was the perfect mix of burgundy velvet, antiques, and stark white. I want to hire their decorator if we ever buy a house.

Then there are the elevators, hallways, and rooms. Good god, let me stay here forever.

As you can see, we were right across the parking lot from the House of Blues, so we decided to go there for dinner. Neither of us had been there before, and we both really like live music and comfort food.

We decided to start with Pulled Pork Sliders:

They were waaaaaaayyyyy too hot for me, so I felt compelled to order a drink. I got to keep the glass!

We decided to sample the Macaroni & Cheese. It was delicious. It tasted like homemade, but it was a million times better. I could have eaten an entire plate full of this stuff.

For dinner, I had Buttermilk Fried Chicken, Mashed Potatoes with Cheese & Bacon, and Citrus Slaw. The chicken was okay but kind of a waste on me since I never eat the skin anyway. I tried a little piece to see what it tasted like, and it was pretty good. Brent liked it too (he had to finish it for me since I can't eat that much food in one sitting - it was HALF a CHICKEN). The potatoes were awesome. The slaw would have been fabulous, and I really liked the touch of citrus, but they put cilantro in it. :( I HATE cilantro. I tried to eat around it, but I gave up halfway through.

Brent ordered a French Dip w/ Fries. I didn't try the sandwich, but he loved it. The fries were the best french fries I've ever had in my life, hands down. I couldn't stop stealing them!

It turns out my phone can do Panoramic shots. I thought it was just the iPhone 5, but I guess the 4 can do them too!

After we finished dinner, we decided to walk to the Subway just a couple buildings down. We wanted to pick up some bottled water for me and Pepsi for Brent. We were right on the river at this point, so we enjoyed the view for a while. I was setting up to take another panoramic shot when I saw two homeless guys heading our way. I shoved my phone in my bag and started to walk, but Brent didn't catch my cue. Sure enough, one of the guys started chatting him up and pulled out a bottle of liquid. He was going on and on about Brent's boots and then started squirting this soapy liquid on them to shine them.

I kind of laughed because 1) I can't believe he got caught and 2) I was buzzed from that super-strong drink. The guy was going on about how smiley and happy I was and how Brent has a "good woman". After the guy did Brent's boots, he asked if I wanted my shoes cleaned (umm, they're Converse, so no?) I started to walk away, and he squirted me. So I was just, "Fine, whatev," and figured I'd give the guy five bucks. No biggie. After he finished washing my shoes (both of our boots/shoes looked exactly as dirty as before), I started to hand him a $5 bill, and he was like, "Okay, that's $10 per boot and $5 per shoe."

I started laughing again because it was so freaking unreal. I handed the guy the $5, intent on walking away at that point, but Brent pulled out his cash. Ugh. Hustled. THEN the guy started playing the, "Well you give me $X and I'll give you back $Y," game where they trade money back and forth and the scammer ends up with more money. Fortunately, Brent is really quick with math and realized the guy was about to scam him. He handed him a $20 and said, "Here, bro. Have a good night."

As soon as the guy walked away, I said, "Unbelievable. Next time, FOLLOW ME," but I was still laughing. Poor Brent. ;) It's not that he isn't street smart; he just wasn't paying much attention and wasn't on his game that night. And honestly, I can see how he'd be worried about the guy hurting me or pushing me into the river. Brent kept moving us away from the river as the guy was yammering on and on.

So that was Friday. ;)

-=-

On Saturday, we woke up to pouring rain. It was like sheets of water just falling onto the ground. We were supposed to meet Stacy at Grant Park, where she was getting her bib for the Color Run. It was a 1.5-mile walk, so I figured we'd just hoof it. Unfortunately, like an idiot, I'd forgotten my umbrella. Fortunately, there was a bus stop right next to the hotel. We managed to catch a bus down to Jackson St, where we got off and ran into Barnes & Noble to get some coffee and a breakfast pastry. As we were walking (and getting poured on), I looked behind me and saw Stacy just down the block a ways. What are the odds?!?

We let her catch up, and then we all walked over to Grant Park. I was drenched. Stacy had an umbrella with her, though, and let me use it since she and Brent were both wearing hats. After she registered, we looked up the nearest bus that would take us to the Museum of Science and Industry. We walked toward it, and as we were walking, I noticed I still wasn't tired or sore. Last year, I would have been dead beyond dead beyond dead at this point. Stacy also commented that I was walking faster than the last time she'd seen me, which was true. She and Brent used to get a block ahead of me before they realized I was waddling behind them. ;)

The Museum of Science and Industry was awesome. We went all over the place, to a ton of different exhibits, and we still didn't have enough time to see everything. It was crazy. I was really looking forward to the tour of the Burlington Zephyr, but they'd made it all dark for Halloween, and it was more about scaring people. I didn't get to see much of the inside, since it was dark, but Brent took a picture of me while we waited in line. My hair was starting to dry and become afro-licious at this point. Not only was it pouring, but it was 65 and HUMID all weekend. Blecch.

We did get to sit in the coach seats on the train, so that was kind of cool. I'm excited to go back and get the real tour so I can take pictures and really see what it looks like inside.

We also saw this awesome "Jollyball" machine from Switzerland. It's like a gigantic game of Mousetrap or something. The ball starts way up at the top and goes through all of these crazy stunts as it travels up, sideways, down, and around the machine. There are trains, little elevators, boats, buses, clockwork, spirals, buckets, you name it. I wish I had a video. We caught it just as it started, and we probably spent a good ten minutes watching it until the end.

The following are some random shots around the museum. Brent loves to play with stuff, as you can see, and there are other things that caught my eye. I loved the train exhibit, as it had several freight and passenger train lines from Chicago to to the west coast, with farmland in between. The model of Chicago was really neat, and it even had a little L train going around the Loop. Brent loved the weather science experiment area, and I was really big on the anatomy stuff. There's also the giant Fairy Castle, with tiny replicas made with genuine diamonds, crystal, and gold, along with the world's smallest Bible, actual woven tapestries, and miniature copper cookware. We'll have to go back someday and devote more time to actually looking at things.

My veins!
I noticed that I didn't sit down until we'd been walking around for three hours, and that was because we were in a crowded room full of exhibits I'd pretty much seen, so I figured I'd upload pics to Facebook while Brent ran around playing with stuff. I thought it would be a good opportunity to rest my feet, just in case we were going to walk around for another hour or so. Last year, I had to sit down every 5-10 minutes because my feet were in so much pain, and I could barely hobble around. It was nice to be able to walk around with everyone else this time. I felt kind of bad for wussing out before the other two (who are a healthy weight, I might add, but still), and then Stacy came over and said she'd been thinking of sitting too. I'm not sure if she was trying to make me feel better or not, but I appreciated the thought. :)

After the museum, we headed up to the Gold Coast to sample the cupcakes at Sprinkles. Once we got off the L, I had no issues walking to the cupcake shop. Again, by this time last year, I'd have been dead on my feet and crying from the pain. I kept waiting for my feet to give out, but they were just the normal level of tired from walking around all day.

Anyway, Sprinkles has a cupcake ATM!

Vegan Red Velvet

Top left = Coconut. Top right = Dark Chocolate. Bottom left = Caramel Apple (seasonal). Bottom right = Regular Red Velvet

The cupcakes were delicious. We bought four to sample. The cream cheese frosting was too heavy/sweet for me, but the regular frosting was very good. The cake was fresh. You could tell they'd come out of the oven that day. The Coconut was my favorite, for sure. It had rum or bourbon or something in the cake mix, and the frosting was really light. The Caramel Apple had chunks of Granny Smith apples in it, but not too many. The Red Velvet nearly killed me. The cake was amazing, but the frosting was way too heavy and sweet, as I mentioned. If we go back to try more flavors, I'll make sure to get one that has regular frosting. They're also HUGE. I was too stuffed to eat dinner afterwards, even though I only had one cupcake total.

Brent wanted to go to The Alley to look at t-shirts, so we hopped back on the L and headed up to Belmont, where we had dinner at Clarke's. I'd been there before and love it. I think Stacy said she'd always wanted to try it but hadn't been there yet; or, she'd been there once. Anyway, I knew Brent would love it since diners are his favorite type of food and atmosphere. Also, it was pouring again, and I was hot, humidified, and ready to get somewhere dry and cool.

On the way there, Brent spotted a comic/CD store with all of these horror movie action figures in the window, so we ended up in there for 20 minutes. He bought a Tarman replica. I don't think I've ever seen him so excited. As he educated me, Tarman is the first zombie to ever say the phrase, "Braaaaaaaains..." Here he is all put together after we got home.

By the time we got to Clarke's, my feet had officially had it. Even my knees were starting to feel it. Between the walking and all the stairs to/from the L, I was approaching dead. Brent was hurting too, though, so I didn't feel too bad, and he kept reiterating that we had been on our feet, walking around, and climbing stairs ALL DAY, something I couldn't do last year and something that would tire a lot of people out, even at a "normal" weight. That made me feel better. :) I didn't like that he was hurting too, but I liked that we were both in pain and that made me more like a normal person. ;)

Here's the food from Clarke's, along with their awesome menu:

I had a Patty Melt and Mac & Cheese, Stacy had a Veggie Burger with Sweet Potato Fries, and Brent had a Mushroom-Swiss Burger with fries. I could hardly eat my food. I was still stuffed from the cupcake. Also, I noticed that Friday night and Saturday night, I was ordering food the old way, completely forgetting I don't have the appetite I used to. Now that the Glucophage is keeping my insulin resistance under control, I'm hungry at the usual times instead of every waking moment of every day.

Brent teased me and told me, "Young lady, you finish your dinner, or you can't have dessert," and I reminded him the dessert was the entire reason I couldn't eat any dinner. I did take the bread off the patty melt and eat half of the patty along with some of the mac & cheese. I'm not going to pass up mac & cheese. It was just regular Kraft dinner, but mmmmmmmmm Kraft dinner. ;)

At this point, Stacy left us since she had to get up at some crazy hour to run the 5K, and Brent and I went to The Alley. I was starting to get dead on my feet at this point, and I was so tired of being wet/humid. I just wanted a shower so I could fix my hair and cool off, and I wanted it to STOP RAINING, even though it got super humid every time it did. I'd been thinking of getting another ear piercing while there, but I was getting crabby and figured I'd just look around at dresses and things. They only go up to size XL, but instead of getting sad, I got excited that I'll be able to wear that stuff in a couple years. I could wear XL dresses when I was a 14/16 (165 - 175 pounds). It's really nice to feel optimistic and happy while looking at clothes instead of defeated and depressed.

After we left The Alley, we took the L back to the hotel. I was going to take the Red Line to State/Lake, but I figured we could catch the Brown Line to the Merchandise Mart since it was about the same distance and took us right by a CVS (to pick up more drinks/snacks). It's a good thing we did, because we caught the announcement about the construction in the Loop shutting down one half of the L tracks. Oh, hell. This would completely change the way we were getting to the concert. I almost wanted to skip it at this point, since it was almost 10:00 and I was pretty much done, but I hopped on my phone, checked out the service alert, and saw they'd re-routed the Green Line. We could still get there just fine; it would simply require a slight change in where we got on/off plus a transfer.

We got back to the hotel, and Brent laid on the bed for a while. He was a tired boy. I feel so bad that he was dead, but I just kept thinking about last year when he had to drag me all over and I couldn't move, and he was just fine. To know that we were sort of equal, finally, that made me feel really good, even though we both felt like crap. ;)

Anyway, we dragged ourselves into our "going to an industrial show" clothes, slogged our way back to the Brown Line, transferred to the Green (oh yay more stairs kill me now), and then walked the half-mile to the bar. As soon as we walked into the back area where the concerts are, I felt awesome. I haven't been to a goth show in nearly a year. I used to go clubbing and saw industrial shows all the time when I lived near Detroit, and I really miss that lifestyle. I felt like I was "home", surrounded by all those weird people in leather, lace, spikes, and satin.

Thrill Kill Kult wasn't on for a couple of hours, so we sat in the bar area where it was quiet and had a snack and a couple drinks while watching the Tigers/Yankees game. Talk about a surreal difference from the concert area. There were doors separating the two, and it was practically soundproof. It was so bizarre.

Once Thrill Kill Kult came on, we went back inside. It was pretty awesome. Brent does. not. dance. but he was behind me and put his arms around me at one point so we could both sort of sway/dance all booty-like to a song. He's rarely outgoing and flirtatious like that, so I was all :)))))

There was some HUGE guy in front of me, though, and he had NO concept of space. I almost got slugged and stepped on more than once. I spent more time keeping an eye on Slagador than the stage. Additionally, his girlfriend was doing this hyped-up, even more awkward version of what I can only describe as "The Elaine Dance from Seinfeld", and I thought one or both of them were going to plow me over or poke an eye out.

You can see Slagador to the right of the frame. The guy was a freaking sasquatch. For reference, I had my phone raised over my head Simba-style when I took these shots, and I'm 5'6". The guy was easily 6'6".

I managed to make it halfway through the show, but I was seriously beyond dead at this point. It was 2:00 AM, and I was sleepy, achy, and ready to lay down with some ibuprofen. I went and sat in the bar until the show finished, and then we walked (ow) the half-mile back to the L. Unfortunately, we'd just missed the last L for the night (dammit!), so we waited for a cab to show up. We were just outside of the West Loop, so I wasn't hopeful, but I think they realized the bars were closing because we saw a few cruise past the Bottom Lounge and the booty club nearby. It was only a five-ish-minute ride back to our hotel, a grand total of $8 plus tip, and part of me wondered why we didn't just get a cab in the first place. I'm so used to being a poor college student that my first thought is always, "Can we get a bus or L?" Sometimes, it's so worth it to just suck it up and pay for a cab.

By the way, Hotel Sax has the comfiest beds ever. We were both so sore and miserable Sunday morning, I would have given my left arm for a late checkout, but we figured we'd catch the 12:30 train back to Dune Park and get home nice and early to snuggle with kitties, do laundry, and relax so we'd be fresh for work on Monday.

Oh. Ho. HO. No, that would not be happening.

I got in line for tickets, after we'd schlepped our stuff to the train station (admittedly, I wasn't so sore after walking for a bit, which made me feel pretty awesome since it was just muscle kinks and not fat-ness), and the girl told me there were power lines down in Indiana due to the storms coming through, so the train wouldn't be running at 12:30 or 1:30, and the next train, at 4:30, was a huge "maybe".

Not. Cool.

I told Brent, and he just rolled his eyes and walked over to Starbucks to get coffee. I put my thinking cap on and started making phone calls. First, I started with Enterprise, since I get a discount, but it was still $350 for a one-way rental. Hahaha no.

Then, I got on the Amtrak app to check trains. My car was in Dune Park, but I figured we could get off in Michigan City since the 4:00 Blue Water stops there and then take a cab to Dune Park. The Blue Water was sold out, but the 6:00 Wolverine still had seats. I nabbed it, figuring we could just get off in Kalamazoo, walk home (half-mile), and then go get my car the next day after work.

We waited around at Millennium Station, figuring we'd check on the 4:30 train and then go to Union Station if it wasn't running. I was impatient, though, so I called the South Shore toll-free number, and the alert message said, "No trains until tomorrow." Oh, geez. I was really, really glad I bought that train ticket because someone came around just a couple minutes later, telling people to head over to Amtrak. Haha! We already had tickets!

We took a bus to Union Station (I will never be grateful enough for the transit app I downloaded) and then sat around there for-freaking-ever waiting for our train. We were both sore, tired, and upset, but at least we were getting home that night.

As we waited, I read the timetable for the 6:00 Wolverine. Whoa! It stops in Michigan City! I've taken that train a million times, so I have no idea how I forgot. I thought it was express to Kalamazoo, just like the one that goes from Kalamazoo to Chicago in the morning. Oops. :) I ran to the ticket counter and asked if we could modify the ticket to let us off in Michigan City. She was able to process it and give us a refund right away. Woot.

I took some pictures while we waited for our train. I was kind of bummed because they kept announcing the Southwest Chief, the train we take to Albuquerque. Every time they called the train and listed the station stops, my heart would pound a little. I wanted to get on that train so badly. I knew it was bothering Brent too.

The waiting area at Union Station is the sixth concentric circle of hell. It's hot in the summer and freezing cold in the winter. Those chairs are nowhere near as comfy as they look, and it's always crowded beyond capacity. Add in a bunch of screaming children and teens on cell phones, and... yeah. If you're riding Coach, wait in the Great Hall or Food Court. If you have a sleeper ticket, you get to wait in the Metropolitan Lounge, which has leather couches, Wi-Fi, and free drinks. :)

It was pretty bizarre being at Union Station with Brent, and even more bizarre being on the train with him. We always used to meet there when he came to visit, and I took the train to visit him once, so it was really neat that we got to travel together for Christmas last year. It was fun being with him instead of one of us meeting the other. So, being with him this time, I kept thinking we were going on a long vacation or that we were on our way home from a long vacation, not just a trip to/from Chicago. I was really grateful neither of us were leaving the other. I still have nightmares about those days, by the way. Sometimes I wake up feeling empty and cold, and then I realize he's right there.

Anyway, it was so awesome being on a real train again. Even though the circumstances weren't optimal, I was geeked. I love trains! The South Shore, as I said, was more like the L than a train, so it didn't really satisfy my train lust.

Once we got to Michigan City, we got off in a freaking windstorm. It was freezing cold and SO WINDY. The gusts were over 40 mph. I called for a cab right away, and the guy was super rude and said we'd just have to watch for one. Um, okay. Michigan City isn't exactly a thriving metropolis, especially the area around the train station. So I found another cab company, and we ended up with a really nice guy with a warm, dry, comfy minivan. He talked to us the entire way out to my car, which took about 20 minutes. Brent said he reminded him of my cousin, Tom, who is really outgoing and makes you feel like family. We tipped him really well, considering it was such a long ride back and that he'd been so nice at the end of a really tiring crazy day.

When we got in the car, I joked, "Watch. Now the car will break down." Brent said, "OH MY GOD DON'T EVEN SAY THAT." Hehe. :)

We got home in one piece, despite my car getting blown all over the road (I really need to get a heavier vehicle if we're moving to New Mexico), and the kitties were so happy to see us. They greeted us with this mess.

Can that wine bottle be any closer to the edge of the table?!? I was so happy to see them, though, that I didn't even care. I thought it was pretty funny, actually.

The next day, my knees were still pretty shot, but my legs felt fine. I was amazed. I figured I'd be recovering for a week after that trip (last year, it took me over a month to kick the plantar fasciitis and tendonitis), but I was fine. To be honest, though, I did something to my left knee while waiting for our Amtrak train, and then I re-tweaked it a couple weeks ago. It still isn't 100%, and that makes me sad because I haven't had sore knees since I lost 40 pounds. I'm trying to figure out what I should do. I may have to break down and see my doctor. It only hurts when I'm getting out of a chair where I have to get up from a deep squat, so I might start sitting on the couch, where my legs are at a 90-degree angle and it doesn't hurt as much. I don't want permanent knee damage, especially after I've come so far!

Also, I read a newspaper article about the South Shore the next day, and it turns out they restored service at 1:30 that afternoon! Seriously?!? We could have gone back to the station and been home and comfy by 5:00 instead of midnight. Oh well. :-P

Phew. What a long trip journal. Thanks for hanging in there. ;) This is mostly for me, and I wanted to capture everything (and I actually left 50% of it out - ha!), so I don't blame anyone if they skipped most of it.

Bottom line: I had a lot of fun, and I'm really proud of how much easier it is to spend a weekend in the city. We talked about things to do differently next time, like spend one day at a museum and then rest that night, or if we're going to a concert, rest all day so we have lots of energy to stay out all night. We simply tried to do too much at once, and it reminded us we aren't 21 and/or athletes anymore. ;)

Oh, and when we got back, I'd gained all of a half-pound. I tallied up the calories, and even though it felt like I'd ordered a lot of food, I didn't eat most of it. I ended up only a few hundred calories over on all three days, and since we did all of that walking, it pretty much negated any overage. For all I know, that half-pound was swelling on my knee, because it was gone later that week. :) Not bad for a weekend of junk food in Chicago!