I'm an idiot.
That magical, weird weight gain? Probably water. I noticed my breasts have been heavy and super-painfully sensitive the past few days. I was so confused, and then - facepalm - oh yeah. PMS usually does those things.
Unlike other people, I rarely have a period. I have PCOS, and PCOS combined with my obesity means I go months without a period. I haven't had once since last July. I'd been on birth control in the past to help regulate my hormones and give me a period, but BCPs turn me into a velociraptor some days and a crying, inconsolable, food-binging emo wreck the other days. No, thank you. So, I stopped taking them last July. (Coincidentally, that's when I stopped gaining weight at an alarming rate too. Thanks a lot, extra estrogen and insatiable cravings.)
I'll take the occasional, waxable mustache and no periods over feeling pregnant, thanks.
Anyway, I don't know if I'm about to get my period or what, but that would certainly explain why my jeans are getting loose but my weight is still up. I feel like I've gained five pounds in my breasts alone. I'm sorry if that's TMI, but they hurt.
Hopefully, this will all resolve itself, and I'll have a nice big whoosh of weight loss in a week or two.
Also, I just downloaded a spreadsheet that someone on MFP made. It makes tracking calories and exercise much easier because I can see my entire week and month at a glance. It's a lot easier to "bank" calories for future splurges, like going out with friends on my day off, and it's easier to see how much exercising affects everything. I can also track my inches and body fat percentage. I am a spreadsheet whore, so this is right up my alley. I'm still using MFP to track my food during the day, but then I plug that number and my exercise into my spreadsheet.
My thighs are not 0". I forgot to measure them. I'll fix that right now.
I went for a 40-minute walk last night and burned just as many calories as I do when I do Turbo Jam for 40 minutes. I like walking better, for the most part, since I like being outside and can listen to whatever music I want. I'll probably save Turbo Jam for rainy days, winter, and when I'm feeling incredibly hyper and a walk isn't going to cut it.
I was feeling pretty energized last night and almost jogged a little, but then I noticed my heart rate was already 160, and I didn't want to push it (it was VERY hot and humid last night). No sense in trying for a heart attack. ;) Maybe I'll try a bit of jogging when the weather cools down. I really would like to do a 5K someday, even though the farthest I've ever "run" is two miles (and I walked half of that). I was 14 years old and 130 pounds, so yeah... totally not the same.