Thursday, June 14, 2012

Point for Chicago

My last post was really long, so I didn't want to get into this. Good thing, because it led me to some more thoughts on the "Chicago vs. SF" subject.

Some of Brent's bosses were in Chicago for a convention this week. They called the office on Monday and asked if the programmers wanted to drive to Chicago today and join them at the Tigers vs. Cubs game. Brent and five others drove down in a co-worker's van and found out the company had paid for an upper deck Skybox, just over third base. Awesome!

Anyway, the game was broadcast on Fox Sports Detroit instead of WGN. As such, it had the Detroit announcers. This meant that they kept breaking away before commercials to show gorgeous shots of Chicago at night - shots of the river, shots of the skyscrapers, shots of the buildings surrounding Wrigley, shots of the L at Addison.

Every time they did, my heart skipped a beat. It looked like home. I wanted to walk through the screen and be there.

Brent sent me a text after the game to let me know he was on the shuttle bus to DeVry (where you can park for $6 during Cubs games). I told him to look out the windows as they got onto the Kennedy, as the view of the skyline from the north is the best, especially at night. He's only ever seen the skyline from the south, as we always take LSD in and out of the city.

As soon as I sent that text, I got another pang. I'd always loved that view. When I stayed with my friends at DePaul, I was so jealous of my friend's apartment with the view of the city at night. I used to sit on the couch, staring at the view. Kendall used to tease me and say, "It doesn't change."

I'm sure I'd be quite happy in San Francisco. I'm sure I'd grow to love it like I grew to love Chicago. I can't help this nagging memory, though, that when I was planning to move to Albuquerque to be with Brent, I struggled BIG TIME knowing I was going to be so far away from Chicago. I love being able to visit at a moment's notice. If we live across the country, we have to plan an actual vacation, and if we plan a vacation to Chicago, all of my friends/relatives in Michigan will be hurt we didn't go the extra 200 miles to visit them.

Plus, it's always been a dream of mine to move there. One summer didn't cut it. I want to be an actual resident. I've been dreaming of that since 1998. I spent almost every weekend in 1999 crashing on friend's couches every weekend, looking at apartment websites for places I couldn't even dream of affording until I was out of school, and even going so far as to write to the U of Chicago for graduate school info. I was 22. Now I'm 35. That's a long time to have a dream.

I suppose it all comes down to the job market and what Brent wants. He doesn't want to discuss it because it's "so far away", but I don't like the unknown. I'm not a "play it by ear" person. I'm fun and impulsive about most things, but I always get weird when I can't plan my future. I like looking forward to things, whereas Brent is focused on the present. It's a good balance, because we complement each other, but it can be sort of infuriating sometimes. ;)

He definitely wants to move to Chicago, especially since the Cubs and Bears are there. He's already told me he wants to live within walking distance of Wrigleyville, no exceptions. His #2 reason for moving here was to be closer to Chicago. This is why it surprised me when he dropped the SF bomb.

At the same time, though, if he gets a job in California, I'm not going to throw a fit. When he moved in and things got more serious, it became OUR future, not just my future. While I can dream, dreams sometimes involve compromises for your partner's dreams. He's just as generous with me, even going so far as to offer to support us if I want to quit my current job and find something I actually enjoy.

I keep looking through the pictures here, and it makes me feel like it's the summer of 1999 all over again.

Some of my happiest memories and relationships occurred in that city.

We have a lot to discuss.


  1. Sounds like your heart is already 95% made up :)

    Not a point to be considered at all, but a little perk: I'll be in Chicago, and I'm always looking for healthy activity partners! So, you already have one new friend there :)

    1. I definitely consider that a point! Two points, actually, since I'd get to meet you and Matt. :)

      I'd say I'm definitely 95% Chicago. I can deal with the winters if it means being happy again.


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