I've suffered from insomnia all week, and it was making me more depressed/crabby than normal. It also made it hard to think rationally.
Last night, Brent and I talked a lot about what I want, career-wise. I was having such a hard time focusing that it just made me more and more upset instead of helping me figure things out.
I really want to go back to school, but I can't make any kind of plan until I find out if I got that new position or not. Brent knows how hard it is when I can't plan ahead, when the next step is unknown because I'm waiting for someone else to make a decision. (You should have seen how crazy I was when he spent a year trying to decide if/when to move here.) Anyway, I described Plan A and Plan B and all of my concerns with both. He didn't have much to add, other than, "We'll just have to wait and see what happens with the new position."
I'm sure that's why I feel so stuck right now. Sleeping helped, though, and my mind feels more clear today. It also helps that I don't have to work. (I cannot even begin to describe how depressed and anxious that job makes me.) I'm already dreading going in tomorrow, but I'm going to try to enjoy the day and push those thoughts aside.
I lost another .6 pounds between yesterday and today, putting me at 333.4. I've been steadily decreasing every day for the past week and a half instead of the scale going up and down. It's been .6 - .8 pounds lost every day. At that rate, I'm losing about four pounds per week. I hope it keeps up. :)
I know four pounds per week is abnormal, but I'll take it. The longer it lasts, the better. ;) Even if it slows in a few weeks, at least I'll have a head start on my goal to be near 300 by Thanksgiving. It was kind of fun to think that if I keep losing four pounds per week, I'll actually be around 270 at Thanksgiving. I'm not counting on it, though. That's a completely silly pipe dream, but it was fun to dream for a bit. I remember 270, and I remember how much more comfortable and happy I was.
(That's my sister-in-law, by the way. She was three months pregnant and just starting to show.)
I haven't written anything of substance in a long time, so I think I'm going to spend the day writing about my Amtrak trips the past couple of years. I have lots and lots of pictures, and I remember how helpful and informative it was to read others' travel blogs when I was doing research for my first long-distance trip on Amtrak. Brent and I don't have any plans today, so I may as well get comfy in my chair. :)